Category: feminism

An Average White Male Comic

When I start performing live again, it will be as an average white male comic.

Average white men: I envy the way they promote each other, and back each other up in times of trouble. Average white men are friends to the end, even if their friend is a pedophile. They know what they have in common, their strength and their pride: they are average white men.

They don’t have to be that funny, because average white men support each other and raise each other up. Bros before hos! Bros before common decency! Bros before, frankly, everything!

Meet Hacky Sack. I will only be writing for, and performing as him in the future.

UK Comedy: Sexist As Hell

Women in Comedy in the UK:

I’ve always been an anglophile, have always thought British people were a little smarter and more sophisticated than we are. I assumed women comics are treated pretty well there, although I had only done one UK spot before, in 2013.

I have loved woman comics working in London like Tiff Stevenson, Aisling Bea, Alice Fraser, Gina Yashere and Katherine Ryan, and I thought- it must be great over there.

My first show in the UK in 2019 was stacked with funny, capable women, and it was great. On my second show, I noted that I was set up back to back with the only other woman on the bill. I made a joke backstage about how that wouldn’t happen in LA, because once we talk about our cats and our periods, what’s left?

Backstage Chitchat

The person I was talking to said oh really. Mistaking that for interest, I said yeah, Maria Bamford just sponsored a college study reviewing gender and ethnicity in club bookings. She found that women accounted for just 16% of the work, and heavily in hosting. The person I was talking to said, do you think there’s more than 16% of comics that are women? I turned to him and said, yes.

LA is home to great shows like Women Crush Wednesdays, L.A. WOMAN All Female Revue, and The Mermaid Comedy Hour that are incredibly strong and well-attended, but bookers still get asked- will you have enough funny women to fill the spots? And yeah, they do.

The person said in a huff, I don’t agree with women showcases. I don’t think they should exist. I think it should just be: comedy! Then, he got up and did his set about how he’s from this place and he’s like this, and his girlfriend is from this other place and she’s like that. And it wasn’t funny. It was, I learned the UK version of white people dance like this and black people dance like this.

Lessons Learned

I learned a lot. I learned that there are plenty of hacks in London, and I learned it’s important to support talented women.

Easy Packing For All Ages

packing for travel comedy

Packing for all ages:

30’s: I gotta get my nails and toenails done for my trip!

40’s: Doesn’t give a fuck.

30’s: I’m gonna take a little bag of jewelry curated to work with my outfits!

40’s: Doesn’t give a fuck.

30’s: Brought two styles of sunglasses for different lewks.

40’s: Own three pairs of the same sunglasses, Hollis by Oliver Peoples. Does not give a fuck.

30’s: Wait, should I buy a mini of my trademark perfume or should I try something new for the trip?

40’s: Doesn’t wear perfume at home, doesn’t give a fuck

20’s: Brought books.

30’s: Brought kindle.

40’s: Broke half a dozen kindles, now watches Youtube videos of kids kicking each other in the nuts on her phone the whole trip. Does not give a fuck.

30’s: Brought running shoes, dress shoes, and casual shoes for travel.

40’s: Brought one pair Chuck Taylor high tops and cannot possibly give a fuck.

30’s: Need room for my DSLR camera!
40’s: Bringing phone.

30’s: Need to carry on my laptop.
40’s: Bringing phone.

30’s: Bringing exquisite outfits for trip, is heartbroken she can’t bring more shoes.
40’s: I don’t know these people, who gives a fuck?

Wait, am I maturing and becoming more comfortable in my own skin- or am I just depressed?

Check out Virginia Jones- From Voyage LA

virginia jones comic photo by adrienne harris
photo by Adrienne Harris

http://voyagela.com/interview/check-out-virginia-jones

Today we’d like to introduce you to Virginia Jones.

Virginia, we’d love to hear your story and how you got to where you are today both personally and as an artist.
I used to do drawing and writing and dance, and now I do comedy, and also all the other things. It was a relief to me to realize that these things are not in conflict-they’re all part of the same thing, being an artist. I am also fantastically up my own butt!

We’d love to hear more about your art. What do you do and why and what do you hope others will take away from your work?
I am a standup comedian and comedy writer type person. It started by accident, like it was a bucket list “I’ve always wanted to do comedy” and then that became my whole life.

I hope people come away from my act with some kind of new idea or a recognition of a thing they hadn’t named. Comedy should communicate something or else why bother- I’ve seen people onstage that can generate laughter, but it’s like a trick? People walk out of the room exactly the same as they walked in, except full of nachos. I am the kind of pretentious little shit that wants comedy to mean something.

I think my jokes are mostly about unexamined social inconsistencies, and also about animals.

Artists face many challenges, but what do you feel is the most pressing among them?
I think the problems of an artist today are the same as they ever were- trying to be you the best you can while the industry wants the same five people, over and over again. I think it’s a great time to be a female artist, moving from being ignored to actively reviled. That’s cool!

Do you have any events or exhibitions coming up? Where would one go to see more of your work? How can people support you and your artwork?
I have a record called Gothic American. I’d love it if you picked it up on Itunes, or, failing that, listened on Spotify or Pandora or Snapchat or Instagram or scanned a sticker from a banana peel that took you to it on Youtube or something. Is that something you can do? I have a website with dates and funny stuff on it. I like it when people show up to stuff. I’m very funny, I promise. I have a twitter account, but I’m bad at it.

Contact Info:

How To Make Comedy Equal (AND BETTER AND MORE INTERESTING)

How To Represent For Women In Comedy

(This is not an edict. This is a list of ideas that are up for consideration.)

Easy: Don’t judge friends and peers for their clothing, appearance, weight, or age. Don’t think they don’t deserve relationships, opportunities, or success because of how they look. If you hear other people criticizing your women friends for their appearance, defend them.

Harder: Don’t judge women you DISLIKE for their clothing, appearance, weight, or age. Don’t do it to strangers. Don’t do it to celebrities. If you hear other people criticizing women for their appearance, remind them that this is a tool of the patriarchy. Remember that the joke behind calling someone a Cougar or a MILF is the sheer absurdity that anyone over thirty could be sexually attractive to anyone when they’re all worn out and shit, and by extension that our looks are what we are worth.

Hardest: Don’t judge yourself for your appearance, weight, or age. Don’t think that you don’t deserve anything because of how you look. Don’t allow yourself to be treated badly. When you truly reach this level, you’ll see how we’ve all been getting less than we deserve.

Vote for Women

Easy: When you’re out at comedy shows, write down the names of women you find funny. Tell them that they are. Tell other people.

Harder: Book those women on your shows. (Still pretty easy!)

Hardest: Support shows with women, queer, trans, or other minority comics on the bill. Let the bookers know you appreciate the way they book their shows. If diverse shows put butts in seats, they will continue.

If woman-headlined shows put butts in seats, they will continue.

You don’t even need whole people at the show. Just butts.

Talk About Booking Women

Easy: When you’re booked on a comedy show and you see that you’re the only woman booked, ask the booker why. Offer to share with them your list of amazing women you’ve started writing down the names of from the last tip.

Harder: When you’re on a comedy festival with fewer than 20% women, ask why? Do they need your help promoting to women to submit next year?

Hardest: When you get booked on a TV show, and you’re on set and you see less than 20% women on the crew or staff, ask why? When you’re hired to write on a TV show and you notice you’re the only woman writer, ask why?

Don’t let men talk shit on other women. Especially if you’re new, you’ll hear men talk about women fucking their way onto shows, fucking their way into festivals. Reject this. Don’t let men tell you how other women are crazy. Don’t let them tell you that you’re the only chill one. They’re trying to pit us against each other so we continue to be divided and weak. Thanks doods!

So you can see that feminism is more than just really, really liking Beyoncé, but it’s not impossible. We can all represent for each other every day. And also Beyoncé.

The Ultimate CK Solution

In the aftermath of the NYT article on Louis CK using his position to sexually abuse women, everyone wanted to know he could come back to comedy. Of course, now we know that he just started working smaller, more right-wing clubs- ignoring this elegant proposal.

INT: A COMEDY CLUB LOBBY-NIGHT

A ticket taker sits in a glass box. Middle-aged white male comedian LOUIS enters.

LOUIS

Hi, I’m, uh. Can you call..

She wordlessly presses a button and gives him a tightlipped smile. After a moment, another middle aged white man (BERT) enters, with a twentysomething man (ADAM).

BERT

Louis! My main man! My big guy!

He and Louis hug.

LOUIS

Thank you so much, man. I really appreciate you sticking by me through this Me Too stuff. It’s been hell getting cancelled.

BERT

Well, we go back, man! Of course I want you back! Listen, I hope you got to look at the stuff I sent- it’s just for insurance purposes.

LOUIS

Believe me, I get it. Happy to sign off on whatever you need. I don’t want any problems.

BERT

That’s great to hear. This here is Adam, he’s gonna be your, we can call him a valet, and he’s gonna take care of you.

LOUIS

Nice to meet you, man.

LOUIS offers Adam his hand. Adam shakes it once, then releases it.

BERT

You guys are gonna get along great! And we’re gonna have a great weekend. Listen, tickets are a little slow tonight, but they’ll pick up tomorrow when word gets out you’re in town.

LOUIS

Sounds great, man, thanks again!

BERT

Now, Adam, don’t let this guy outta your sight! He’s our special guy!

Bert backs out of the room, waving. A moment passes.

ADAM

Okay, man. Let’s get started.

Adam produces a burlap sack, a pair of plastic bags, and some rope. He puts the sack over Louis’s head and bags his hands, securing each with rope.

ADAM (con’t.)

Let’s get you to the green room.

INT: COMEDY CLUB GREEN ROOM-NIGHT

Adam leads Louis to sit on a couch and sits next to him.

ADAM

So, I don’t know how much of that thing you read, but basically I’m not supposed to let you leave my side until you’re onstage. I will get you any food and drink you need. No alcohol, of course.

LOUIS

No problem. I just want to make it easy on everyone. I wanna have great shows and prove to everyone that I can still do this.

ADAM

Sure thing. Let me know what I can order for you. They’ll bring it here.

LOUIS

I’m good for now. How would I even eat in this thing?

ADAM

What I thought we’d do is that anything you order, we can either untie the collar and you can eat under the bag, or if you’d rather, we can liquefy it and you can eat it right through the bag.

LOUIS

Ugh. Alright.

ADAM

The main thing is that you don’t make eye contact with any women, and you’re not alone with a woman at any time on the premises.

LOUIS

I understand. So, when you take me onstage, you’ll take the bag and stuff off?

ADAM

That stuff…doesn’t come off.

INT: ONSTAGE-LATER

Louis is onstage, holding a microphone stand through his bagged hands. The audience sits silently. The women look angry.

LOUIS

Ha, ha…I can’t tell if you guys are there or not.

WOMAN HECKLER

Oh, we’re here!

ANOTHER WOMAN HECKLER

Why don’t you show us your dick now, if it’s so great?

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

END