Instead of writing or working, I have updated my map of mostly everywhere I can remember doing comedy. If I’ve ever done your show and you wondered what I thought about it, you can probably find out!
I’ve always been an anglophile, have always thought British people were a little smarter and more sophisticated than we are. I assumed women comics would be treated pretty well there, although I had only done one UK spot, in 2013. My first show in the UK this trip was stacked with funny, capable women, and it was great. On my second show, I noted that I was set up back to back with the other woman on the bill, and I made a joke (which is not a joke) about how that wouldn’t happen in LA, because once we talk about our cats and our periods, what’s left?
The person I was talking to said oh really, and mistaking that for interest I said yeah, Maria Bamford just sponsored a college study reviewing gender and ethnicity in club bookings, finding that women accounted for just 16% of the work. The person I was talking to said, do you think there’s more than 16% of comics that are women? I turned to him and said, yes. There are some great shows like Women Crush Wednesdays (back Jan 8!), L.A. WOMAN All Female Revue, and The Mermaid Comedy Hour that are incredibly strong and well-attended, but bookers still get asked- will you have enough funny women to fill the spots? And yeah, they do. The person said in a huff, I don’t agree with women showcases. I don’t think they should exist. I think it should just be: comedy! And then he got up and did his set about how he’s from this place and he’s like this, and his girlfriend is from this other place and she’s like that.
Anyway, I learned who I shouldn’t talk to, I learned that there are plenty of hacks in London, and I learned that it’s important to support talented women. Anyway, I’m honored to be back on L.A. WOMAN All Female Revue on Sunday at 7 at the Virgil, it’s gonna be a hoot- women will dance, sing, and tell jokes, and we’re gonna show these idiots what’s what! Come on out and join us.
Travelling through the decades:
30’s: I gotta get my nails and toenails done for my trip
40’s: Doesn’t give a fuck
30’s: I’m gonna take a little bag of jewelry to work with my outfits
40’s: Doesn’t give a fuck
30’s: Brought two styles of sunglasses for different lewks
40’s: Own three pairs of the same sunglasses, Hollis by Oliver Peoples. Does not give a fuck.
30’s: Wait, should I buy a mini of my trademark perfume or should I try something new for the trip?
40’s: Doesn’t wear perfume at home, doesn’t give a fuck
20’s: Brought books
30’s: Brought kindle
40’s: Broke half a dozen kindles, now watches Youtube videos of kids kicking each other in the nuts on her phone the whole trip. Does not give a fuck.
30’s: Brought running shoes, dress shoes, and casual shoes for travel
40’s: Brought one pair Chuck Taylor high tops and cannot possibly give a fuck.
30’s: Need room for my DSLR camera!
40’s: Bringing phone.
30’s: Need to carry on my laptop
40’s: Bringing phone.
30’s: Bringing heavily curated outfits for trip, is heartbroken she can’t bring more shoes
40’s: I don’t know these people, who gives a fuck?
Wait, am I maturing and becoming more comfortable in my own skin- or am I just depressed?
I got a pair of wireless headphones. We were happy for a while, or, at least, I was. I paired them to my phone and learned their name.
I lost them within a week. They were gone before I recycled the box they came in. I had been worried that the chassis that held the charging port wasn’t very sturdy. I didn’t have to worry anymore.
It was so sudden. “They’ll be back,” I thought. “As soon as I buy replacement wireless headphones, they’ll come back to mock me.” I didn’t want to be like in the movie where the woman who has been missing assumed dead meets her husband’s new wife. “I moved on,” he tearfully explains. “What else was I supposed to do?”
I was in denial. The days waned on and on without them, and finally I thought, well, if they turn up again, I’ll have two. I got another pair.
I’ve had the new pair twice as long as the first.
They never turned up. They had stepped off the planet and released themselves into space, forever, trailing their weird little rubber stoppers behind them.
I’ve written about the best karaoke in the world, Portland’s Baby Ketten Karaoke, many times. I’ve done it here and here and here and here. My friend Jay Horton wrote all about the new all-ketten all the time club here.
It’s big news! Baby Ketten Karaoke is on the scene 7 nights a week on SE Powell, where it all began! Where I met Brophy and his crew, where I sang my first song, I Want Your Sex by George Michael, while wearing a petticoat of some sort (I mean a lot of these are sense memories), where I got drunk and bought a painting of a pitbull, where two sisters waited for an ambulance after one of them bit the other one’s nose sort of OFF, where Klingon Karaoke happened for a while, where I DJ’ed a terrible goth night where an attendee asked me to play the I’m Dead I’m Dead song, all that spirit and magic has swirled together for all the Kettens to meet up. I am getting there as soon as I can and I’ll see you when that happens! Check out the best songbook in the world here!
It’s my first time on Sam Varela and Brandie Posey’s amazing PICTURE THIS stand up comedy show, I have been paired with the amazing artist Craig Bartlett, who worked at Will Vinton and was behind Penny, from Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, as well as Hey Arnold! This is gonna be a once in a lifetime comedy show!
I’m delighted to come visit my NorCal friends next week to headline two shows at DNA’s comedy lab! If you’ve seen me before at the Santa Cruz festival, this will be all-new material, and I’m bringing the young, vivacious Rick Wood to feature. It’s gonna be a fun, reasonably-priced time, come on out! Tickets here.
OK let’s play a more obscure game: Let’s Write A Robyn Hitchcock Song!
Hoods & Masks
A jangly, circular guitar riff that sounds like bells
A reverse pedal
Plants that become people, people that become plants
Cockney rhyming slang
A Mandrake root writhing under a full moon in a sensual way
People named Bruce or Kevin