Instead of writing or working, I have updated my map of mostly everywhere I can remember doing comedy. If I’ve ever done your show and you wondered what I thought about it, you can probably find out!
I’m delighted to come visit my NorCal friends next week to headline two shows at DNA’s comedy lab! If you’ve seen me before at the Santa Cruz festival, this will be all-new material, and I’m bringing the young, vivacious Rick Wood to feature. It’s gonna be a fun, reasonably-priced time, come on out! Tickets here.
OK let’s play a more obscure game:
Let’s Write A Robyn Hitchcock Song!
Hoods & Masks
A jangly, circular guitar riff that sounds like bells
A reverse pedal
Plants that become people, people that become plants
Cockney rhyming slang
A Mandrake root writhing under a full moon in a sensual way
People named Bruce or Kevin
Comedy moves quickly, but these bits will get you on all the cool shows and festivals, because everyone’s doin’ em!
Extremely Detailed Solipsism
Pretending To Be Mad About Small Things
ShockJock (90’s Nostalgia)
Fat Guys, Shirts Off
If I Yell It, It’s A Punchline
I Pooped In Public, A Closer
White People Interpreting Rap Lyrics
Homeless People Are Weird
That Time I Ate Too Much Pot
Hillbilly Philosopher (Nihilism in a Trucker Cap)
When you submit your album to Pandora, they sort your tracks into little pre-written buckets for their algorithm- the description of the tracks from my album, Gothic American, make a nice little poem about my comedy:
An Amused Delivery
A Deadpan Delivery
A Sarcastic Delivery
A Self-Deprecating Delivery
Jokes About The Entertainment Industry
Humorously Dim-Witted Logic
A Wide Variety of Subject Matter
Liberal Political Leanings
🎶Let’s write a Nick Cave song🎶. What’ll we need?
“All Things Move Towards Their End”
A small, but surprisingly sharp, knife
End of Days
The American West/Pioneers/Lawless lands
People who were born evil
Messed Up Preachers
Being Attracted To Women Who Are Married To Someone Else Whom You Then Kill
Lots of Murders, misunderstood criminals
Being suspected or discovered to be a murderer
Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood
Women and children grieving for lost husbands and fathers
A mandolin loop
A big big gong
Subset: what kind of beautiful dark-haired woman do you want in here?
E. With a heart-shaped face and a west country accent
🎶Let’s write a Mountain Goats Song!🎶
What will we need?
Names of Small Towns
The Pride of the Outsider
A Moment Where You Escaped The Boot On Your Neck And Experienced Real Freedom In A Way Rich Kids Never Will
Magic the Gathering/D&D
Dysfunctional Family Relationships We Never Dealt With
Dogged Optimism Even Though You Know It’ll All Fall Apart
Names of Ancient Gods
Regionally Specific Trees
Descriptions of How A Girl’s Hair Looks In The Sunset
Nostalgia for Things That Went Badly
Names of Interstates
Not just acoustic guitar- Acoustic AF guitar
This August, The Cure threw an end-of-Summer celebration at the Rose Bowl grounds. Who hates Summer more than Goths? Nobody.
I love the Cure, I love the Pixies, I was curious enough about Chelsea Wolfe and Mogwai, and I have never EVER seen Throwing Muses and was absolutely GAGGING to. Since the ticket was expensive, I steeled myself to going alone, but my friend Johnny Skourtis posted a self-pitying story on Instagram the morning of the show,asking if he should go see the Cure alone, so I had a festival buddy!
The Day Of:
It was hot as shit. 30,000 goths were sweating and drinking. They sold out of Donut Friend brand vegan band-named donuts. But everything else was great. Throwing Muses, also known as Some Dudes and Kristin Hersh, were tight and formidable and AGGRESSIVE and wonderful. The Pixies and their rotating Kim Deal impersonator were good, and The Cure have only gotten better at being the Cure. You want pedals? You want layered guitar? You want drone? You got it, babe. The band has gotten mainstream famous 40 years into their career, and Robert is wearing it well, and seems much happier than he was when he was 30.
Meeting New Friends:
I was wearing an ancient Cure t-shirt that my sister has been begging me to throw out, and instead of throwing it out, I had repaired it with lace scraps, and a child came to compliment me on it. He claimed that he was “the world’s biggest Cure fan” and that he had seen his first show in 2009. I told him I had seen my first show in 1986 at the Bronco Bowl, for Head on the Door, and he protested, I wasn’t even BORN then. That can’t be my problem, man!
Here’s the Cure’s playlist, including Just One Kiss, which was never played in the US before, but which I really like.
- Pictures of You
- A Night Like This
- Just One Kiss(first time live in the US)
- Last Dance
- Fascination Street
- Never Enough
- In Between Days
- Just Like Heaven
- From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea
- Play for Today
- A Forest
- Shake Dog Shake
- 39 (Altered lyric from “half my )
- The Caterpillar
- The Walk
- Friday I’m in Love (with “Where Is My Mind”… )
- Close to Me
- Why Can’t I Be You?
- Boys Don’t Cry
The Morning After:
The morning after, I was complaining to Johnny that although we had been drinking all day, it was so spaced out that I was never really drunk, but that I had a hangover, and then he sent me a video of myself singing to the Pixies that he believed disproved my theory. Anyway, it was nice having a friend for one day.