Virginia Jones and Brandie Posey One On One

VIRGINIA JONES & BRANDIE POSEY

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Virginia’s responses to Brandie’s questions:

What’s the worst present you’ve ever gotten?  

 My first thought was very hippie 2020, like, it’s a gift just to be remembered, even if the object itself is not inherently desirable to me?  But it’s true, when you’re a kid, Christmas and Birthdays are your only chances to get stuff, because nobody will hire you to work because of the so-called “abuses” of the Industrial Revolution.

When I was 8 or 9 my Dad was hyping us up about a gift he had bought “for the family” and it was “electronic” and “everyone could use it” and it would be “good for our homework” so I thought it was going to be like a Deep Blue supercomputer or something and it was an electric pencil sharpener that he had really taken a shine to.  It was beige!

When did you know you wanted to be a comedian?

As a kid, I was hospitalized with pneumonia over Christmas.  All kinds of charity groups were visiting sick kids at Christmas and I felt very self conscious at getting attention because I was sick.  I started trying to make jokes to distract.  Also I got a cabbage patch kid for free from a church group and that fucking rocked.  My sister was so pissed.

What’s your favorite fashion choice from your past?

As a goth, my fashion choices are very similar past, present, and future, but there was a moment after the first Matrix I bought myself a black pleather pantsuit at an indoor flea market in Dallas, TX that I wore to the goth club with sunglasses and a wet bob all the time and that was pretty great.  At the end of the night I’d have to wring it out.

What’s your favorite joke you don’t do anymore?  

My first closer was about Paris Hilton, and it was basically about how she was a marketing genius without talent.  She went out of the public vernacular long before I realized it was a pretty misogynist joke. I closed on it for at least two years.

What’s your mask style of choice?

I bought a mask in Hanoi, Vietnam in 2008 and used that as the template to make masks that I sent to friends and family and wear myself.  In Vietnam, it was mostly meant to keep the sun off your face and dust out of your nose when you’re on your moped.

VIRGINIA, ARE YOU PLANNING ON TAKING THE VACCINE?

I will camp out for the vaccine like I camped out for Nick Cave tickets.  I’ll wear a sleeping blanket and cut holes in the sides for my arms so I look like a giant baby and I will bring bags of vegan jerky and fruit leather to share.  Layer three fabric masks and a gas mask on top and I will wait it out.

Brandie’s responses to Virginia’s questions:
What’s something you’ve learned about yourself during lockdown? 

Apparently if I was locked up, I would be in the prison gym all the damn time! I’ve been spending quarantine getting ripped, or as ripped as you can be while also stress eating donuts. My boyfriend just told me I have a back like a little bulldog now, so the new goal is to get even buffer to murder him AND maintain my mental health.

Who are your three favorite woman or nonbinary comedians? 

Hmmm, there are so many to choose from! But my gut reaction was Maria Bamford, Michelle Buteau & Tig Notaro. They’re amazing, check them out if you somehow know me but not them!

What’s the first R rated movie you ever saw? 

I have a pretty vivid memory of seeing Total Recall WAY too young & Arnold Schwarzenegger’s eyes popping out of his head. I gave up wanting to be an astronaut around that time.

Who was your first crush? 

My first crush was Bruce Campbell in Xena: Warrior Princess. My last crush will be Bruce Campbell in anything he does.

What’s your favorite gift you ever got from a fan? 

My podcast, Lady to Lady, had a fan who knitted dolls of the three of us while she was working on her doctorate when she needed a break from screens! All three dolls are in a three person shirt. We hang it from a hook in our recording studio & it creeps out guests who don’t see it at first haha.

What do you think of garden gnomes? 

My dad has…. Maybe 12 garden gnomes? Some parents get a dog when their kids move out, my dad can’t stop going to garden stores & bringing home tiny bearded men. So what do I think of garden gnomes? I THINK THEY’RE COMING FOR MY PLACE IN THE FAMILY.

See also: Ladies of Comedy

Dollface Productions

plus size vintage dress on model virginia jones link to dollface productions etsy

Dollface Productions is a plus size vintage Etsy store of comedy superstar and glamourpuss, Jenny Zigrino. Here’s a dress she got me that not only fits like a dream but is totally and completely my shit. Click on it to go to her Etsy store, which she keeps stocked with great plus size vintage finds!

An Average White Male Comic

When I start performing live again, it will be as an average white male comic.

Average white men: I envy the way they promote each other, and back each other up in times of trouble. Average white men are friends to the end, even if their friend is a pedophile. They know what they have in common, their strength and their pride: they are average white men.

They don’t have to be that funny, because average white men support each other and raise each other up. Bros before hos! Bros before common decency! Bros before, frankly, everything!

Meet Hacky Sack. I will only be writing for, and performing as him in the future.

UK Comedy: Sexist As Hell

Women in Comedy in the UK:

I’ve always been an anglophile, have always thought British people were a little smarter and more sophisticated than we are. I assumed women comics are treated pretty well there, although I had only done one UK spot before, in 2013.

I have loved woman comics working in London like Tiff Stevenson, Aisling Bea, Alice Fraser, Gina Yashere and Katherine Ryan, and I thought- it must be great over there.

My first show in the UK in 2019 was stacked with funny, capable women, and it was great. On my second show, I noted that I was set up back to back with the only other woman on the bill. I made a joke backstage about how that wouldn’t happen in LA, because once we talk about our cats and our periods, what’s left?

Backstage Chitchat

The person I was talking to said oh really. Mistaking that for interest, I said yeah, Maria Bamford just sponsored a college study reviewing gender and ethnicity in club bookings. She found that women accounted for just 16% of the work, and heavily in hosting. The person I was talking to said, do you think there’s more than 16% of comics that are women? I turned to him and said, yes.

LA is home to great shows like Women Crush WednesdaysL.A. WOMAN All Female Revue, and The Mermaid Comedy Hour that are incredibly strong and well-attended, but bookers still get asked- will you have enough funny women to fill the spots? And yeah, they do.

The person said in a huff, I don’t agree with women showcases. I don’t think they should exist. I think it should just be: comedy! Then, he got up and did his set about how he’s from this place and he’s like this, and his girlfriend is from this other place and she’s like that. And it wasn’t funny. It was, I learned the UK version of white people dance like this and black people dance like this.

Lessons Learned

I learned a lot. I learned that there are plenty of hacks in London, and I learned it’s important to support talented women.

Easy Packing For All Ages

packing for travel comedy

Packing for all ages:

30’s: I gotta get my nails and toenails done for my trip!

40’s: Doesn’t give a fuck.

30’s: I’m gonna take a little bag of jewelry curated to work with my outfits!

40’s: Doesn’t give a fuck.

30’s: Brought two styles of sunglasses for different lewks.

40’s: Own three pairs of the same sunglasses, Hollis by Oliver Peoples. Does not give a fuck.

30’s: Wait, should I buy a mini of my trademark perfume or should I try something new for the trip?

40’s: Doesn’t wear perfume at home, doesn’t give a fuck

20’s: Brought books.

30’s: Brought kindle.

40’s: Broke half a dozen kindles, now watches Youtube videos of kids kicking each other in the nuts on her phone the whole trip. Does not give a fuck.

30’s: Brought running shoes, dress shoes, and casual shoes for travel.

40’s: Brought one pair Chuck Taylor high tops and cannot possibly give a fuck.

30’s: Need room for my DSLR camera!
40’s: Bringing phone.

30’s: Need to carry on my laptop.
40’s: Bringing phone.

30’s: Bringing exquisite outfits for trip, is heartbroken she can’t bring more shoes.
40’s: I don’t know these people, who gives a fuck?

Wait, am I maturing and becoming more comfortable in my own skin- or am I just depressed?