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People at Heathrow today: me and 1970’s David Bowie

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I saw Gaston Lachaise’s Standing Woman (Elevation) at SFMoma in 2013, at the Met in 2015, and at the Tate this week. Finally looked it up and there are 12 of her. I thought this bish was stalking me.

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Two sisters and a baby at Olafur Eliasson’s How Can We Live Together?

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Sunday! I’m back on the incredible @lawomanshow at @thevirgilbar, sponsored by @gibsonguitar! I’ll be back from #uk with new jokes! Come on out!

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Joe Strummer’s 50’s Fender Esquire. It’s funny to think how close the 70’s were to the fifties. Anyway, this guitar was loaded with punk diseases.

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Tonight: doing a new material show with legends like Andy Zaltzman! It’s worth the ticket to London, get over here!

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This dude would not stop lecturing me about Brexit

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Thank you, London Science Museum, for sawing a vintage Mini in half for me. It was what I needed before I knew what I needed.

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As you know, I am captivated by my own image, like a grackle loves tinfoil. Here’s me on a slideshow at the Bill Murray theatre before a series of indistinguishable British men roasted each other at @angelcomedy.

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Sunday night show with the glorious @mariashehata!

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Oliver Ryan is an expert vandalism spotter. He announces every time- look! Vandalism!

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Interpreting Prince

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Dear East Coast comics in your identical baseball caps and giant shoes and tough guy attitude and jokes about bitches: I can see right through you and smell the fear in your heart

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Virginia Jones 🧛‍♀️ ⓋFollow

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Virginia Jones 🧛‍♀️ Ⓥ @badiniadones·

23h

I am “a band is doing a ten year reunion that I think of as a new band” years old

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Virginia Jones 🧛‍♀️ Ⓥ @badiniadones·

4 Dec

I just want what Wolverine and Jean Grey had- to love someone so much you have to kill them

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Virginia Jones 🧛‍♀️ Ⓥ @badiniadones·

4 Dec

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but what makes Wolverine the best Xman is not that he’s a cool loner cowboy, but that he’s the only one man enough to love the Dark Phoenix, the most powerful being in his universe

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Virginia Jones 🧛‍♀️ Ⓥ @badiniadones·

3 Dec

U.K. does not offer coffee cup sleeves, because why the fuck would you buy a hot drink if you didn’t want to burn the shit out of your hands?

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Virginia Jones 🧛‍♀️ Ⓥ @badiniadones·

3 Dec

Just put my finger on what I don’t like about Olafur Eliasson- every piece is like an artsy funhouse

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