los angeles Archives ⋆ Page 15 of 19 ⋆ Virginia Jones

Show with Dante!

Hay, I’m doing a show at the Rolling Stone on Wednesday, Feb 13th, with a great line-up including Last Comic Standing’s Dante, and the adorable ukelelist (made up word) Scout Durwood. I have passes available for any LAists who want to come!

The line-up:

Dennis Haskins

Cicero Salmon

Rick Carera

Carely Mcmenoman

Steve Cooper

Mikey Scott

Teddy Margas

Scout Durwood

Virginia Jones

Rebekah Kochan

Dante

Update: we killed the Rolling Stone restaurant, but I was glad to meet Scout, and I love Mikey and Teddy forever, and just attended their last show at Fubar. I’ve not seen anyone else on the list ever again. Dante’s star rating dropped to the point where he had to start using his last name again, and started a BS comedy festival in Portland that seemed to let everyone in who applied.

Hey Ya! Song Interpretation

This was one of the biggest songs from the last decade, but do you know what lies below The Love Below? I’ll be interpreting songs at Book Klub, hosted by Doug Mellard and Sofiya Alexandra, every month at Stories on Sunset!

The End of an Era: So Long, Suki’s Comedy Open Mic!

The End of an Era: So long, Suki’s Comedy Open Mic

Posted by Temple Lentz on Wed, Jan 23, 2013 at 2:03 PM

The Sklar Brothers performing at Sukis open mic

Photo by Veronica Heath
The Sklar Brothers performing at Suki’s open mic

On December 18, Suki’s Bar & Grill held its last comedy open mic. Sure, there are plenty of other mics in town, but the Suki’s mic had become somewhat legendary among both comedians and fans—for better and for worse. It was known as a really fun room, but also one that could be brutal. About a year ago, I was in a class with comedian Gabe Dinger, who told us that the Tuesday open mic at Helium is a great, really friendly mic. He could go there and have a great set and “get my ego good and inflated.” Then he could head over to Suki’s afterward “to have it crushed.”

Brad Stephens, a comic actor and bartender at Suki’s, started the open mic in summer of 2006, “Before there were 5,000 other mics in town,” and before Helium opened with their Tuesday mic. Shortly after starting, he asked Dax Jordan to host it. Jordan eventually moved on, and passed the hosting on to Jimmy Newstetter in March 2011. Newstetter says that the end of the mic was “amicable.” Changes in format and time, and the fact that the thing could sometimes stretch on for hours, had a lot to do with the decision to kill it. Says Newstetter, “Considering the steady decline of performers and patrons, I think it was just an easy business decision to replace it with karaoke.” Stephens confirmed that over the last number of months, “The bar just wasn’t making money on comedy anymore. In fact it was losing money. Everybody at the bar wants it to be successful. And even though a lot of comics took it personally, we’ve got to keep the doors open. If we can make comedy there successful again, the owners are open to it.”

And indeed, the open mic may have run its course but comedy at Suki’s isn’t gone for good. Stephens, Newstetter, and fellow comedian Whitney Streed are developing a regular comedy showcase that will offer something different from other showcases and keep comedy on the Suki’s stage, in a more sustainable way.

They’re still working out the details, but Suki’s management is on board with the show and, according to Streed, “We’ll have 4-5 local comics going up and getting suggestions from the audience on subjects to tell jokes about. They’ll get a subject, exhaust its humorous potential, and ask for a new one. The whole thing will close with everyone playing joke improv games like we used to play at the end of the open mic.” They’re looking at starting with a monthly show on first Sundays, beginning in March. Once things are finalized, says Streed, they’ll publicize it in February.

Although local comics and many comedy fans are glad to hear that there will still be some comedy at Suki’s, many are still a little sentimental about the loss of the open mic. Following are some memories and anecdotes about the local legend that was the Suki’s Tuesday open mic.

Brad Stephens, originator of the Suki’s open mic
I’ve seen prostitutes get punched, the Sklar brothers do a set randomly, Dax Jordan doing gay cowboy porn. I told jokes and they were terrible. I’ve seen pretty much every comedian in this town be groomed. Richard Bain was one of like four comedians there in the beginning, awkwardly sitting in the back and saying thank you to me for giving them free tater tots for showing up. I’m nobody in comedy but I feel really special that I started a mic that means so much to everybody else.

Dax Jordan, comedian and former Suki’s host
Being a hangout for local drunks and weirdos, as well as being beneath a hotel frequented by the VA’s and OHSU’s “families waiting for someone to die,” gave the night a funky vibe that occasionally broke out in violence. I and some other comics had to tackle an irate German visitor who ran the length of the room try and choke out Kyle Harbert, who escaped injury. I was close to the line of fire when Andy Wood made a joke involving race, and a patron facing away and sitting right at the bar just a few feet away from him, having only heard key words and not the whole joke, flippantly tossed a bottle of hot sauce over his shoulder at Andy and it shattered on the floor. That was pretty Blues Brothers for us.

Ira Novos retired here from Chicago, where he had a legendary status. He was like an awkward, keyboard-playing Borscht Belt relic who knew every song ever, so he became our in house musician. He played old west music for me as I developed what became a regular feature wherein I read the dirtiest, most ridiculous passages from an Old West period gay porn novel I found in the sound booth in my best Sam Elliott voice, index finger standing in as mustache.

Jimmy Newstetter, comedian and former Suki’s host
I believe Suki’s had a sense of chaos that made it feel like anything could happen. … In my opinion there is no greater comedy proving ground in Portland. If you can get a laugh at Suki’s, you can probably get a laugh anywhere. Not because you’re the greatest comedian in the world, but because you are capable of generating something worth noticing. I also truly believe (and this is a bit harsh, granted) that if you can’t get a laugh at Suki’s, then you probably shouldn’t be telling people that you are a comedian.

Virginia Jones, comedian
Suki’s was the second place I did open mic in Portland. This is typical, because the Boiler Room was the only open mic that had an ad in the Mercury stating that they had an open mic, so comics would start there, and they’d hear about Suki’s from other comedians, much in the way that people at AA meetings pass information to new people on the same journey.

Suki’s, with its hilarious combination of PSU students, comics, and real full-time die-hard alcoholics, was like performing in front of wild animals on a potent combination of synthetic opioids and speed.

Shelley Miller, comedy fan and supporter
I first went to Suki’s with Veronica Heath for her very first attempt at stand up comedy. That was in mid October, 2006 and I was hooked. I continued to go every Tuesday.Suki’s was always a place that comics came to perform and to network and socialize. I thought of the bar as being the family room of the Portland comedy community. It’s a wonderfully welcoming place with a friendly staff and a very eclectic group of regulars. Occasionally a nationally known comedian would drop by and do a quick set. My favorite was the night the Sklar Brothers did a set. Some of the best and brightest have started there and moved on. I’m very sad that Suki’s open mic is no longer. I am looking for another place to touch bases with my funny friends, but nothing is quite the same.

Whitney Streed, comedian
Suki’s has been a huge part of Portland since long before I started doing stand-up. I remember when I first started it was like this gauntlet that you had to pass through. Whether it was raucous or painfully silent, your set at Suki’s was likely to be soul-crushing, and I have spent more than one evening in tears in my car wondering what on earth I was doing with my life. But then sometimes this amazing thing would coalesce and somebody would become a giant: Richard Bain talking about Portland, Auggie Smith railing at the world, Dax Jordan reading gay cowboy porn. I remember Christian Ricketts and Jimmy Newstetter improvising some kind of canoe scene, I couldn’t even tell you what happened in it, but every single person in the bar was completely consumed with laughter. There’s a weird kind of magic in Suki’s that lets us transform the most base and average parts of our lives into something transcendent.

I’m quite sad that the Tuesday mic is going away. It feels like my parents just had to move out of my childhood home. So I’m excited to be working with Jimmy on producing a showcase there at the beginning of March, so at least comedy will continue to happen in some way in the space. I think it’s going to be a blast.

Veronica Heath, comedian
Some of the biggest events of my life started there. I did my very first open mic there in October 2006, so that’s where I fell in love with stand up, and I met my now-husband there over four years ago (he is also the daytime bartender there at Sukis!).

Sukis has so many memories for me that it is really hard to hammer down just a few. It was always awesome when a big(ger) name was in town for a show or Bridgetown and they would do the mic.

Ian Karmel, comedian
Doing stand-up at Suki’s was like doing stand-up in the back of a moving garbage truck, and if you can succeed in the back of a moving garbage truck, you know you’re on to something.

I think the idea that Suki’s represents is this notion of having fun and hanging out with friends without worrying so much about impressing anyone, or how your set went, or if your performance is going to affect how you’re booked. That spirit hung out at Suki’s, but it wasn’t owned by Suki’s, it was owned by the Portland comedians—and they, and that notion, aren’t going anywhere.

Belinda Carroll, comedian
Suki’s was a comic’s mic in the true sense of the word. Comics would come with brand new material and succeed—or bomb—and get feedback on the set. A lot of new comics did their very first sets at Suki’s. It was like a big comedy clubhouse. I think like everyone else, it’s a passing of an institution and we’re all sad about it. There will be other mics, but Suki’s legend will live on.

A Very Gothixxx New Year

Bloodmeadow and Helfire compare notes from the holidays, answer viewer questions, and look forward to a spooky new year!

Boatchella: The S.S. Coachella Experience!

Photo by Megan Helstone

In this post, I will try to answer all your questions about my first cruise ever, on the Celebrity Silhouette to Jamaica with Hot Chip, Warpaint, Pulp, James Murphy, Father John Misty, Sleigh Bells, Girltalk, Z-Trip, and the Black Lips, and some other people.

Q: Were PULP’s setlists different on the two legs?

A: Yes. Here is the Bahamas setlist, as reported by the able Raymond Medina:

Do You Remember the First Time?
Pink Glove
Joyriders
Underwear
Something Changed
Disco 2000
Sorted for E’s & Whizz
Feeling Called Love
His ‘N Hers
Babies
Like a Friend
Party Hard
This is Hardcore
Sunrise
Bar Italia
Common People

And the Jamaica cruise went more like this, according to me and the ripped piece of notebook paper I found in a jeans pocket:

Do You Remember The First Time?
Monday Morning
Razzmatazz
Pencil Skirt
Something Changed
Disco 2000
Sorted For E’s and Whizz
F.E.E.L.I.N.G. C.A.L.L.E.D. L.O.V.E
His n’ Hers
Babies
Like a Friend
Underwear
This is Hardcore
Sunrise
Bar Italia
Common People
Encore: Mis-Shapes

Q: What kind of fucking nerd cares about that sort of thing?

A: This one.

Q: When did you know you were at a Coachella event?

A: When I saw a girl with white denim cutoffs and a bra sitting in a whirlpool, watching James Murphy DJ.

Q: Did Jarvis Cocker remark that it was Jean Genet’s birthday on Dec 19?

A: Yes, but he did not perform any of “The Maids”, as I had hoped.

Q: Who is the hungriest member of Pulp?

A: Steve Mackey always seemed to be in the late-night buffet. Always. I mean, so was I, but still.

Q: Was there cool-ass art on the boat?

A: Yes, some hilarious Christian Marclay pieces I’d seen at Seattle Art Museum years earlier, but also some Damien Hirst and Gilbert & George and Richard Serra- a very British selection, on the whole. Really cool.

Q: Did you take bunk acid on the boat?

A: Yes, but in my defense, I thought the world was maybe ending.

Q: Did you really think the world was ending?

A: No, but I like acid, and I’m sorry it was bunk. Frank Mojica wasn’t sure, but he was wearing an eyepatch at the time.

Q: Were the staterooms really big enough for four people to share?

A: No, not unless they really liked each other and didn’t mind sleeping with parts of them inside of their friends.

Q: Was it sad that you went stag?

A: No, I met up with a tremendous group of people and had many funs, including an opera singer, a fabulous girl from my town and a mentally deficient gap-toothed Scouse!

Q: Who are the most obnoxious members of any international group?

A: Australians! I think it’s because they’re in the wrong hemisphere, and feel that there are no repercussions for their actions. That being said, they are very hot.

Q: Did you get seasick on the boat?

A: No, but I could sometimes feel it move, which made drinking all the more sensible, so that I could feel like I do when I’m drunk on land.

Q: Remember when Pulp had the lightshow with the dolphin in it?

A: Yes

Q: Did they do that again?

A: It was a Santa, it was cute but kind of weird. Also, please note that the neon PULP sign swayed constantly with the ship’s movement, which was strange!

Q: Does Jarvis really buy his shirts in the children’s section?

A: No, he has them custom-made, and he has a tiny JC embroidered right under his left nipple. MMM!

Q: Did you see celebrities on the boat?

A: Har Mar Superstar, Perez Hilton, Haley Joel Osment and Thu Tran from Food Party were all on the boat!

Q: What song did Hot Chip end their set with when we thought the world was maybe ending?

A: Prince’s 1999

Q: How many bars did Virginia take to identify 1999?

A: Two bars.

Q: Who are the cutest and spookiest and rockin’est girls on earth?

A: Warpaint!

Q: What are your predominant thoughts when surrounded by young, wealthy hipsters?

A: I wish I was skinny enough to wear unflattering clothing. Is shit-weed a type of weed? Because that’s what it smells like in here.

Q: What does it look like when there’s a Coachella party on a pool deck in the middle of the ocean?

T60C2496 Lasers during The Gaslamp Killer on the SS Coachella 2012: Bahamas — Photo By Ivankay

Q: Is the cruise ship food as great as everyone says?

A: No, but it’s extremely available! There is pleasure in walking drunk out of a show and eating french fries at 3 in the morning.

Q: Is it OK to have sex with the cruise staff?

A: NO. Only band members and fellow cruise attendees, which is not fair, given how many of the waitstaff were hot Italians. Apparently, if you sleep with a staff member (heh), they put you both out on a life raft labeled SHARK FUD to fend for yourselves.

Q: What do you do if someone breaks up with you before a cruise?

A: Find someone who looks just like them and have sex with them, it’s a lot simpler!

Q: What was the funniest thing that happened the first day?

A: Overhearing a pretty hipster girl berating a barman for having Grey Goose as his top shelf, and then she mixed it with Red Bull. Pick a lane, Amber!

Q: Did you find that, despite your own suspicions about yourself, you loved being on the beach in Jamaica?

A: No, the reef bit my feet and I don’t like being hot or dirty. That’s why I never went to a Coachella in the first place! And the lunch was served two hours after ordering, which meant that some of the people in our group had died.

Q: Were the two cruises, to the Bahamas and Jamaica, a financial success?

A: According to the rumors I heard, no. Both legs went out at half capacity, which made for GREAT shows where people filed gently into their seats and respected each other, but apparently $5 million was lost on the venture.

Q: Did you enjoy Jarvis’ Powerpoint lecture on song lyrics?

A: Yes, he pointed out that lyrics don’t really matter, which makes it strange that he became a lyricist- but Pulp has always been more about atmosphere than turn of phrase- he made me laugh with a Shakespearean reading of A Hard Day’s Night, which is by Livepool’s second most-popular band, the most famous and popular being Echo and the Bunnymen.

Q: What are some of the hilarious lyrics presented as possibly being obscene words to the Kingsmen’s Louie, Louie?

A: “Each night at ten, I lay her again

I fuck my girl all kinds of ways

And on that chair, I laid her there

I felt my boner in her hair.”

Q: What prizes did Jarvis hand out for a music quiz at the end of the lecture?

A: Pieces of clothing he no longer wears, including a suit worn, and torn, on the Jimmy Fallon show. Amazing.

Q: Was Pulp the Most Important Band On The Boat to you?

A: Is it that obvious?

Q: Do you want to see Josh Tillman of Father John Misty sing R. Kelly on Karaoke?

A: YES

Q: Do you still have the listing of band-related activities onboard?

A: Yes! Here it is, straight from 2012:

• REAL WINE: A NATURAL TASTING – Come try a selection of the best Natural Wines with hosts JAMES MURPHYand fellow oenophile JUSTIN CHEARNO. Additional $20 fee for this tasting required. Wines featured will also be available for purchase on board.

• DESERT CREW – Ever wonder who’s behind the scenes and how we put these festivals on year after year? Here’s your chance to go behind the curtain and find out. Be part of an intimate dialogue between moderator JASON BENTLEY and some key players within the Coachella world. They may even answer some of your questions.

• ALL HANDS ON DECKS – A highly trained professional will guide you through a live DJ tutorial. Then some of you will get to DJ or run the decks. Each participant will receive their very own S.S. Coachella Poster with their name prominently featured in the lineup! *sign up available at S.S. Coachella customer service desk.

• DEAR DIARY – It’s time to have a good laugh at your unrequited middle school love or that time you stole your bff’s squeeze. Scan and send us the juiciest bits from your cherished diaries. Are they in a dusty box? Call Mom! Selected entries will be read live for all to enjoy, by a very special guest. (It was Har Mar Superstar!)

• BOATS N’ CRAFTS – The Coachella Art Studios convoy invites you into our euphoric, free D.I.Y. arts n’ crafts workshop. This is where if you can imagine it – you can make it, and if you can make it – you can take it. Chop and screw new fashion accessories, make a zine, upcycle materials and much more. Open 5 hours a day most days. *no sign up required, come on by!

• MIDNIGHT MOVIES – Come get shlocky with GIRL TALK in the Celebrity Central Theatre!
Ghost Ship will be screened on the Bahamas leg (12:01am 12/18).
Open Water (12:01am, 12/21) and Under Seige (12/01am, 12/22) will be screened on the Jamaica leg.

• POINTER SISTERS – We all know SLEIGH BELLS’ ALEXIS KRAUSS comes correct with her style. With help from nail master RIA LOPEZ, you can too! S.S. Coachella staffers will buff your stuff and hand you over to Ria to do her thang. You’ll have two chances per cruise for this activity.

• IT’S A BEAUTIFUL MORNING – Rough night at sea? Dust yourself off and get your day started right with a hearty Bloody Mary or refreshing Michelada on our pool deck with the ladies of WARPAINT! You’ve got a lot of bands to catch! Cocktails must be purchased. sign up available at S.S. Coachella customer service desk.

• LAZY BINGO – B34, G52, N48. Stop by and play some Lazy Bingo with special guest caller GRIMES. One hour per cruise up on the beautiful lawn club. $5 per bingo card or 4 cards for $15. Fabulous prizes to be won!

• EXCERPTS – Join J Tillman (FATHER JOHN MISTY) as he reads passages from some of his favorite pieces of literature. An intimate affair located in Michael’s Club on Tuesday for Bahamas or Saturday for Jamaica, followed by an audience Q&A. *sign up available at S.S. Coachella customer service desk.

• SNOWBALL BAR CRAWL – Get to know your fellow shipmates. Start in small groups, move on to a designated location where you’ll meet up with more groups and so on. As you progress, groups snowball until there are more people than you can count. We won’t spoil the surprise.

• S.S. MINNOW PUB CRAWL – Are you a Ginger or a Mary Ann? Dress as your favorite shipmate & tag along with THE BLACK LIPS on a tour through the ships finest bars. Watch out, Skipper! 2 hour aprox. crawling time, once per cruise.

Tommy’s Showgirl

Well, in every Halloween career there are setbacks.

I love the Who, and I love their rock opera Tommy, and I love the over-the-top 1975 film by Ken Russell, who passed away a year ago in November. After last year’s somewhat involved costume, I thought, I’ll take a year off and do something simple: Showgirl in a Gasmask from the opening overture in Tommy.

The showgirls picking their way through the rubble of the Blitz were based on a memory of Russell’s from his childhood. Getting a period-appropriate civil issue UK gasmask was easy, and when I found a rhinestone bikini while in San Diego for Comic-Con, that seemed like a “gimme.” I bought a nude bodysuit to wear underneath and considered myself ready to go.

I put my gear on and headed to a party on Friday, and didn’t realize until I had left the house that, bodysuit or no bodysuit, I was pretty much naked. Much more naked than I had thought I would be, in my mind. Don’t get me wrong. Naked at a party is popular. Everyone wanted a picture with the naked lady in a gasmask.

Everyone has a different threshhold for public nudity, but I was raised Mormon and I still have some personal boundaries- So, I went home, took some photos to document, and am retiring this beast.

In the end, I had to have a costume for work (and one of my employees dressed as me, which was in turns adorable and insulting), and so I went for Sweet Jayne Mansfield. Her head’s off, so she stuck it back on with medical tape, and she put a necklace on over it so you can’t tell, but people can still kind of tell.

Gothixxx Portraiture

Gothixxx’s friend Evan Ballinger shot this candid of Bloodmeadow and Helfire sharing a moment of togetherness.