Tonight in Seal Beach!


Doing a show tonight with my dear friend Eddie Pence!  I’ve been told it’s the nicest Irish bar at this address!

Izzard at Largo

Eddie Izzard IV

I got to see Eddie Izzard do a workshop show at the Largo!  Despite cost, inconvenience, and the cruel indifference, there are some real advantages to living in LA.

Eddie Izzard announced a show at Largo two days before it happened and did an amazing sold-out work-in-progress show, and I got to go. These things still feel like magic to me.  I used to see her announcements that she was coming to do shows in LA and I would try to figure out how to go.  She’s stopped doing as much working-out in the States, but I loved seeing these shows.

In Memoriam: Goth Juice

Last week I headed to Lush, the store that makes soap out of food, to restock one of my primary staples- along with soy lattes, I am  propelled through the world by Goth Juice, the vegan hairstyling product inspired by the Mighty Boosh that I first loved here

I stood in the middle of the store and looked around, casually, and then with ever-growing confusion, until a nice girl with a fashionable haircut broke the news to me- Goth Juice, Made from the Tears of Robert Smith, had been dropped from the LUSH offering.   I  dropped to my knees and started gasping like a trout, and  regretted the carefree, sloppy vigor with which I had dispatched my last tub of product. 

If I had known, I said, I would have made it LAST, maybe frozen a little bit for a special occasion, like my marriage to Noel Fielding, or the funeral of the person who discontinued Goth Juice.

Purple.  Slippery but dry, like the SLIME toy that was sold in the 80’s until every carpeting had SLIME mashed liberally into it.  It smelt like pine trees, or like a linoleum floor that had been washed with something that smelt like pine trees.  Lightweight and evoking Vince Noir and gravity-defying satsumas.  Infinitely superior to the greasy King of the Mods, which inexplicably survives.  If no-one else loved you, Goth Juice, I loved you.


Do You Really, Realistically, Think You Can Avoid: Harem Pants?

From May 2010

That is to say, do you think there’s any way you can get around wearing Harem pants, which were called Dhoti pants last time they came around, and later, pejoratively, Hammer pants?  Do you think you’re strong enough?

Will.I.Am is wearing them in Usher’s video about a woman whose boobies are so hot he has to say “Oh, My GOSH” repeatedly.

Gaultier and Levi’s have gotten together to make some.

Every man, woman, and child in Hong Kong is wearing them as if there is no other kind of pant available.

Hong Kong is so trend-conscious that you hit the street and see the same Comme De Garcons t-shirt twenty times and think, did I miss a memo?

2014 Postscript: According to the kids auditioning for So You Think You Can Dance, you can’t avoid Harem pants.  Nobody can. They call them Joggers though, which is dumb because no way should you jog in them.