comedylos angelesVirginia Jones

My Utterly Complete Shit List

This is a list of reasons I am not speaking to other comics, it’s a funny meditation on the things we allow to divide us even though we’re all gonna be dead someday.

People I am Not Speaking To For Sexual Misconduct Reasons


People Who Defended Other Comics To Me, I.E. How Do You Like Your Cosby Now? 


I Unfriended You Because Another Comic Asked Me To And They Are Back To Being Your Friend, So Fuck Me 


I Am Scared To Speak To You Because I Might Have You Confused With Another Comic 


I Refuse To Speak To You Because You Hurt My Feelings For Something I Don’t Remember What It Is

You Bought A Car From Me And Never Registered It And Never Paid Me For It (Specific)


I Basically Like You But Had To Turn Off Your Thirst Trap Feed


You Never Found A Spot For Me On A Show You Stopped Booking Years Ago


I Have A Crush On You And Am Embarrassed About It 


I Understand That You Do Comedy But Not Why 


I Understand That Other People Find You Funny But I Don’t 


I Envy Your Career But You Close On A Poop Joke 


Comics Who I Am Scared To Speak To Because I Think They’re Mad At Me For Something


You Are Too Extra For Me To Personally Cope With And I Feel Guilty But There It Is

You Have Never, Not Once In Your Life, Stayed To Support A Show After Your Set
*or* 
General Shit List