Pandora Poetry

Posted Posted in comedy, women

When you submit your album to Pandora, they sort your tracks into little pre-written buckets for their algorithm- the description of the tracks from my album, Gothic American, make a nice little poem about my comedy:

Female Experiences

An Amused Delivery

A Deadpan Delivery

A Sarcastic Delivery

A Self-Deprecating Delivery

Surprising Misdirects

Jokes About The Entertainment Industry

Humorously Dim-Witted Logic

A Wide Variety of Subject Matter

Liberal Political Leanings

Subject Explorations


Welcome To My Shit List, Tracy

Posted Posted in comedy, los angeles

You may not be on all the year-end lists you wanted to be on this season, but here’s a couple lists that you can be glad you’re not on:

People I am Not Speaking To For Sexual Misconduct Reasons
People Who Defended Other Comics To Me, I.E. How Do You Like Your Cosby Now? 
I Unfriended You Because Another Comic Asked Me To And They Are Back To Being Friends And I’m Not So Fuck Me 
I Am Scared To Speak To You Because I Might Have You Confused With Another Comic 
I Refuse To Speak To You Because You Hurt My Feelings For Something I Don’t Remember What It Is
I Basically Like Them But Had To Turn Off Their Thirst Trap Feed
You Never Found A Spot For Me On A Show You Stopped Booking Years Ago
People I Have A Crush On And Am Embarrassed About 
I Understand That You Do Comedy But Not Why 
I Understand That Other People Find You Funny But I Don’t 
I Envy Your Career But You Close On A Poop Joke 
Comics Who I Am Scared To Speak To Because I Think They’re Mad At Me For Something
You Are Too Extra For Me To Personally Cope With And I Feel Guilty But There It Is
General Shit List

SICC 2010

Posted Posted in comedy, portland, seattle

After the  fun and fancy madness of Halloween is over and done with, I will be heading to Seattle for my first real public shot at humiliation in the form of the 31st Seattle Comedy Competition.  I was pleased that the good folks responsible for casting the contest came down to Portland to see the locals do a showcase- last year, I had to go all the way to Seattle to find out I wasn’t going to be competing, and I found doing the show at Helium comedy club to be a lot more convenient!

I’ll be competing with friends, peers, rockstars, heroes, a pretty Canadian, trivia team members, and, in a greater way, against myself.   If I find myself with any amazing wisdom gleaned from the ego beatings, I will post it here.  Remember, it’s an honor just to be nominated!

Portland Monthly!

Posted Posted in comedy, portland

Fall Arts Preview

The New Nimble

By Anne Adams, John Chandler, and Randy Gragg

Photo: Michael Schmitt



Virginia Jones


“You know what really gets my goat?” asks Virginia Jones. “Wolves.”

Pause … hope … laughter.

In the suspenseful lifestyle of casting one-liners for yuks (and bucks), Jones is one of a growing cabal of local weekend warriors tackling stand-up comedy—and, sometimes, slowly, starting to shape their work schedules around the gigs rather than vice versa.

“The great thing about stand-up,” she asserts, “is that you can work and hone until you get it just right … It’s completely unlike brain surgery.” Pause … hope …

On September 4, Jones will perform in the Grand Dames of Comedy showcase at Hawthorne Theatre and host two open-mic nights for Curious Comedy Theater, Portland’s first and only nonprofit comedy group.

“There’s a lot of new energy,” Jones says, noting the three-year-old Bridgetown Comedy Festival’s importing of such nationally acclaimed acts as Patton Oswalt and Janeane Garofalo and the opening of city’s first comedy chain franchise, Helium, which lifted off this summer.

Why the sudden P-town laugh riot? Is it our coping mechanism for rising unemployment? Indie-rock fatigue? Jones calls it a perfect storm of rising national interest (e.g., the reality show Last Comic Standing), plus the growing chops of locals like Richard Bain, Christian Ricketts, and Marcia Belsky.

“There’s all this hungry talent,” she says. “They book anywhere they can—old-man bars, Thai restaurants—just to some get mic time.”

“When I started doing showcases, going to comedy was only slightly less hip than going to a funeral,” Jones adds, without pause but with plenty of hope. “I think now it’s starting to explode.” —AA


Oct 8-23, Nov 6-20 A small cast of improvisational cutups including Stacey Hallal, Bob Ladewig, Virginia Jones, and Josh Fisher will redirect their comedy sketches and prepared material based on whatever the audience wants to see. Can we handle that much responsibility? Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE MLK Jr. Blvd. 503-477-9477.

Sept 4 at 8 A slew of she-larious locals storm the stage in (presumably) diamonds, feathers, and big hats for a little X-chromosome humor. Picture the rowdy gals and quiet introverts from your high school all grown up and cracking wise. Belinda Carroll hosts. $5. Hawthorne Theatre Lounge, 3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 503-233-7100.

Sept 9-11 The dapper Proops is a versatile comic best known as one of the performers on the American version of Whose Line Is It Anyway?, a show that required him to slip in and out of multiple characters, Zelig-like, for laughs. Targets include Christian psychos, gun-toting rednecks, and, the root of it all, our nation’s City-on-a-Hill Puritan heritage. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE Ninth Ave. —JC

Many thanks to the all-powerful and largely benevolent Anne Adams for including me.

See it on their website here: Portland Monthly Article

Spin Cycle

Posted Posted in comedy

In earlier posts, I have covered backhanded compliments from comic to comic, and insulting compliments a comic can get from the crowd, but comics of course bullshit about themselves, too.  Here are some of our favorite lies to tell each other, or ourselves.  And honestly?  Whatever it takes to get you through the night.  I’ve been to MJ Barleyhopper’s.  Here are possible answers to:

How was your show?

1. Great crowd!

Maybe it was a great crowd.  Maybe it was 8 people who didn’t speak English, waiting for the Keno numbers.   Maybe it was all ten people who won tickets on the radio.  The comic figures you don’t know anyone in Pig’s Snout, Arkansas anyway, and prays you didn’t talk to his headliner.

2. Wow, they had a lot of energy!

Small crowd.

3. I killed!

I’m going to kill myself.

4. I had a lot of fun!

I didn’t get paid.

5. I learned a lot!

They’re never, ever having me back, ever.  I dug myself a hole so deep, I had to take a bar candle down there to see my notes.

6. They were a party crowd!

They spent my whole set drinking and trying to go home with members of their families.  They had no idea what I was doing there.

Remember, if you smile while you eat it, it makes your shit sandwich go down better.  Also, it looks better in photographs.

Emily Post-Punk

Posted 1 CommentPosted in comedy, portland

Politeness is important. Here are my favorite polite comments to offer, especially to stand-up comedians.

“You looked like you had a lot of fun up there!”

“Wow, you’re really committed to that material!”

“You’ve got…a lot of energy.”

“I don’t care how many times I hear ’em, I love those jokes!”

“You got more laughs than it sounded like.”

“That’s right, screw ’em! You keep doing what YOU think is funny.”

“You’re so brave to get up and do that!”

“You…and I mean this…you do more with less than anyone in this scene!”

“I sure admire your persistence! Keep it up!