I’m on Tiktok as badinia, making comedy goth content for the very few people who want that! Here it is! Be my Tiktok friend!
These are the hottest hack trends happening in LA comedy right now! Get on the hack comedy train, and you’ll get into all the hot shows and festivals!
Extremely Detailed Solipsism
Pretending To Be Mad About Small Things
ShockJock (90’s Nostalgia)
Fat Guys, Shirts Off
If I Yell It, It’s A Punchline
I Pooped In Public, A Closer
White People Interpreting Rap Lyrics
Homeless People Are Weird
That Time I Ate Too Much Pot
Hillbilly Philosopher (Nihilism in a Trucker Cap)
When you submit your comedy album to Pandora, like I did with my comedy album, Gothic American, they sort your tracks into little pre-written buckets for their algorithm- and the description of the tracks from my album, Gothic American, make a nice little poem about my comedy:
An Amused Delivery
A Deadpan Delivery
A Sarcastic Delivery
A Self-Deprecating Delivery
Jokes About The Entertainment Industry
Humorously Dim-Witted Logic
A Wide Variety of Subject Matter
Liberal Political Leanings
How To Represent For Women In Comedy
(This is not an edict. This is a list of ideas that are up for consideration.)
Easy: Don’t judge friends and peers for their clothing, appearance, weight, or age. Don’t think they don’t deserve relationships, opportunities, or success because of how they look. If you hear other people criticizing your women friends for their appearance, defend them.
Harder: Don’t judge women you DISLIKE for their clothing, appearance, weight, or age. Don’t do it to strangers. Don’t do it to celebrities. If you hear other people criticizing women for their appearance, remind them that this is a tool of the patriarchy. Remember that the joke behind calling someone a Cougar or a MILF is the sheer absurdity that anyone over thirty could be sexually attractive to anyone when they’re all worn out and shit, and by extension that our looks are what we are worth.
Hardest: Don’t judge yourself for your appearance, weight, or age. Don’t think that you don’t deserve anything because of how you look. Don’t allow yourself to be treated badly. When you truly reach this level, you’ll see how we’ve all been getting less than we deserve.
Vote for Women
Easy: When you’re out at comedy shows, write down the names of women you find funny. Tell them that they are. Tell other people.
Harder: Book those women on your shows. (Still pretty easy!)
Hardest: Support shows with women, queer, trans, or other minority comics on the bill. Let the bookers know you appreciate the way they book their shows. If diverse shows put butts in seats, they will continue.
If woman-headlined shows put butts in seats, they will continue.
You don’t even need whole people at the show. Just butts.
Talk About Booking Women
Easy: When you’re booked on a comedy show and you see that you’re the only woman booked, ask the booker why. Offer to share with them your list of amazing women you’ve started writing down the names of from the last tip.
Harder: When you’re on a comedy festival with fewer than 20% women, ask why? Do they need your help promoting to women to submit next year?
Hardest: When you get booked on a TV show, and you’re on set and you see less than 20% women on the crew or staff, ask why? When you’re hired to write on a TV show and you notice you’re the only woman writer, ask why?
Don’t let men talk shit on other women. Especially if you’re new, you’ll hear men talk about women fucking their way onto shows, fucking their way into festivals. Reject this. Don’t let men tell you how other women are crazy. Don’t let them tell you that you’re the only chill one. They’re trying to pit us against each other so we continue to be divided and weak. Thanks doods!
So you can see that feminism is more than just really, really liking Beyoncé, but it’s not impossible. We can all represent for each other every day. And also Beyoncé.
This is a list of reasons I am not speaking to other comics, it’s a funny meditation on the things we allow to divide us even though we’re all gonna be dead someday.
People I am Not Speaking To For Sexual Misconduct Reasons
People Who Defended Other Comics To Me, I.E. How Do You Like Your Cosby Now?
I Unfriended You Because Another Comic Asked Me To And They Are Back To Being Your Friend, So Fuck Me
I Am Scared To Speak To You Because I Might Have You Confused With Another Comic
I Refuse To Speak To You Because You Hurt My Feelings For Something I Don’t Remember What It Is
You Bought A Car From Me And Never Registered It And Never Paid Me For It (Specific)
I Basically Like You But Had To Turn Off Your Thirst Trap Feed
You Never Found A Spot For Me On A Show You Stopped Booking Years Ago
I Have A Crush On You And Am Embarrassed About It
I Understand That You Do Comedy But Not Why
I Understand That Other People Find You Funny But I Don’t
I Envy Your Career But You Close On A Poop Joke
Comics Who I Am Scared To Speak To Because I Think They’re Mad At Me For Something
You Are Too Extra For Me To Personally Cope With And I Feel Guilty But There It Is
You Have Never, Not Once In Your Life, Stayed To Support A Show After Your Set
General Shit List
After the madness of Halloween is over, I will be heading to Seattle for my first real public shot at humiliation in the form of the 31st Seattle Comedy Competition.
I’ll be competing with friends, peers, rockstars, heroes, a pretty Canadian, and, in a greater way, against myself. If I find myself with any amazing wisdom gleaned from the ego beatings, I will post it here. Remember, it’s an honor just to be nominated!