The Rich Life In Recession

Photo by Artikip

I know that there are troubles in the world. However, the recession is the time for comics to shine! We have not received an increase in pay since 1991, so we’re skilled in every day ways to make money, like reusing tea-bags and road ass. I sure hope I can find some acid-washed jeans with my early nineties money! The economy has gotten so bad that I’m upper-class now, and I can prove it. I can offer three forms of classy identification, including my Platinum Subway punch card, for which I might acquire a FREE fancy sandwich after purchasing eight of the selfsame sandwiches, a Costco card bearing a golden star that indicates that I might go and make bulk goods purchases at any time after 11AM, when the platinum star people have stopped stinking up the place with their rich perfumes and Corinthian leather smells, and also a card which affords me access to more world-class literature and media than one could consume in a lifetime, which says Multnomah County Library upon it, with my name, emblazoned in richest ebony ink. I must go and polish my solid gold boot-buttons now.

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