Bowie vs. Prince


I joined a Pedalpalooza event for the Bowie vs. Prince ride on Friday night. The idea is that a bike ride cruises around and occasionally stops to drink and dance to a biked sound system. I decided to express with my outfit the question, “what if the harlequin from Scary Monsters was really just a big-boned gal in a bike helmet?” The fantastic DJ Rhienna was also in attendance.

It was fun, although the music that started as very Bowie and Prince and quickly devolved to generic hip-hop, and I had hoped to see more awesome outfits. I did see 300 hipsters, 1000 cans of PBR, and about 80 helmets! There was a Screaming Lord Byron in attendance, and inexplicably, a Michael Jackson.

Strange things yelled at me on my bike:

1. Hey, do you have twenty dollars? Well, do you?

2. Hey! Your face!

3. Hi Virginia Jones! (not so strange, really)

300 people in the Safeway parking lot-like a flash mob, but more shambly and random.

We visited the bran’ spankin’ new Eastside Voodoo Doughnut, for those of us too drunk or lazy to go downtown to get one. Thank you, Jebus!

In the end, it is clear that Portland’s sympathies lie with the Thin White Duke and not the Purple One, but it was close. Prince is still the universal #1 artist that drunk girls request at parties.

Portland’s Naked Bike Ride


It’s Pedalpalooza in Portland.

Pedalpalooza is a fortnight of bike-related events that I had forgotten about until I left Harvey’s on Saturday at midnight to be greeted by a peleton of naked bikers. The two road comics I was working with were very impressed by the display, as I commented, oh, it’s naked bike ride time again already. Craigslist Missed Connections was also pretty active the next day, although suitors had to be fairly observant about bike makes, colors, and models, since “you were naked, so was I” did not really narrow the field.

Dana Carvey Photoshopped Out Of Gender!

Everyone knows that Hollywood values youth and beauty over all things, even over 30 years of experience as a stand-up, writer, and comic actor, but I was sorry to see that Dana Carvey’s Myspace headshot has been Photoshopped into a plain but hard-working co-ed majoring in Women’s Studies and minoring in Black and White Photography.

Vampires Exist


Street signs can tell you a lot of things- to stop or slow down, that animals may cross the street, and which turning direction is less likely to get you killed.

However, this is the first time that a road sign has taken the time to let me know that bloodsucking ghouls are real.

Thanks, NW Natural! I’ll keep an eye out!

Postscript: Apparently, The Huffington Post has disproved the existence of vampires. Which is why vampires hate math!

Sad Anniversary.

Today is the 28th anniversary of the day that Ian Curtis watched Werner Hertzog’s Stroszek, and hitched a ride to the hereafter.  In that moment,  he turned an influential band (Joy Division) into a successful one (New Order).  I keep trying to cheer him up, but as a dead goth, it’s pretty hard.

Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus

Recently Tivo recorded a film for me based on my interest in art stuff and Robert Downey, Jr., and so I watched a movie I’d never heard of called “Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus. The main message that I took away from this film, loosely based on a book based on a rumor based on the photographer’s life, is

Q: How can one discover one’s own artistic voice and vision?

A. To truly discover oneself as an artist, but one must first befriend, fully shave, make love to, bear witness to the suicide of, and then wear a coat made from the hair of, a dog-faced boy.

Q. Do you mean that metaphorically? Like, broaden your horizons?

A. No. I mean it literally. Go find yourself a dog-faced boy.

Q. Okay…thanks.

It was weird, and coming from me that’s saying a lot.

Ain’t No Party Like A Birthday Party!

Although I work hard at keeping this page from being of any real use to anyone, I wanted to let you know that Nick Cave tickets are on sale today for a show at the Crystal Ballroom for Monday, September 22nd.  Aww! Nick’s spending his birthday with us! Reasons to love Nick Cave:

* He’s so goth, he wore flip-flops on Ron & Fez’s radio show, and was STILL goth.

* He has had amazing rock-n-roll hair for 30 years. Unfortunately, now all his promo shots are cropped at the temples.

* Dig, Lazarus, Dig is a record that makes other middle-aged rockers cower in shame.

* Nick wrote the story and soundtrack for the incredible and bloody cowboy movie, The Proposition.

* He did the soundtrack for another great movie, The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, and did a cameo as- wait for it- a musician.

* He’s also doing the soundtrack to the film of Cormac McCarthy’s book, The Road.

* Nick wants to be a cowboy, and you can be his cowgirl.

An alert reader sent in an NPR article on Nick! Thank you!