Picture This!

Posted Posted in artsy fartsy, comedy

It’s my first time on Sam Varela and Brandie Posey’s amazing PICTURE THIS stand up comedy show, I have been paired with the amazing artist Craig Bartlett, who worked at Will Vinton and was behind Penny, from Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, as well as Hey Arnold! This is gonna be a once in a lifetime comedy show!

Let’s Write A Robyn Hitchcock Song!

Posted Posted in music

OK let’s play a more obscure game: Let’s Write A Robyn Hitchcock Song!

We’ll need:

Angels
Priests
Hoods & Masks
Birds
The Byrds
A jangly, circular guitar riff that sounds like bells
A reverse pedal
Vegetables
Spiders/Spider’s Eggs
Insects
Eyes
Plants that become people, people that become plants
Cockney rhyming slang
Lizards
Obelisks
A Mandrake root writhing under a full moon in a sensual way
Disease/Decay
Prawns
Trains
Death
People named Bruce or Kevin

Popular Comedy Tropes

Posted Posted in comedy, los angeles

Comedy moves quickly, but these bits will get you on all the cool shows and festivals, because everyone’s doin’ em!

Extremely Detailed Solipsism
Pretending To Be Mad About Small Things
ShockJock (90’s Nostalgia)
Fat Guys, Shirts Off
If I Yell It, It’s A Punchline
I Pooped In Public, A Closer
White People Interpreting Rap Lyrics
Homeless People Are Weird
That Time I Ate Too Much Pot
Hillbilly Philosopher (Nihilism in a Trucker Cap)

Pandora Poetry

Posted Posted in comedy, Virginia Jones, women

When you submit your comedy album to Pandora, like I did with my comedy album, Gothic American, they sort your tracks into little pre-written buckets for their algorithm- and the description of the tracks from my album, Gothic American, make a nice little poem about my comedy:

Female Experiences

An Amused Delivery

A Deadpan Delivery

A Sarcastic Delivery

A Self-Deprecating Delivery

Surprising Misdirects

Jokes About The Entertainment Industry

Humorously Dim-Witted Logic

A Wide Variety of Subject Matter

Liberal Political Leanings

Subject Explorations

Anecdotes

Let’s Write A Nick Cave Song!

Posted Posted in music

🎶Let’s write a Nick Cave song🎶. What’ll we need?

Paradise Lost
The Circus/Freaks/Etc.
Blues music
“All Things Move Towards Their End”
The Supernatural
The Bible
A Gun
Greek poetry 
A small, but surprisingly sharp, knife 
End of Days
The American West/Pioneers/Lawless lands
People who were born evil
Messed Up Preachers
Being Attracted To Women Who Are Married To Someone Else Whom You Then Kill
Lots of Murders, misunderstood criminals
The Devil
Being suspected or discovered to be a murderer
Alcohol
Jesus 
Floods
Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood
Sociopathic Narrators
Women and children grieving for lost husbands and fathers
Dark-haired ladies
Whores
A mandolin loop 
A big big gong
Subset: what kind of beautiful dark-haired woman do you want in here?

A. Sad 
B. Vengeful 
C. Murderous
D. Angelic
E. With a heart-shaped face and a west country accent

What else?

Let’s Write A Mountain Goats Song!

Posted Posted in music

🎶Let’s write a Mountain Goats Song!🎶

What will we need to write a Mountain Goats song?

Names of Small Towns 
The Pride of the Outsider 
Motorcycles
Trains
Childhood Memories
Broken Things
Drugs
A Moment Where You Escaped The Boot On Your Neck And Experienced Real Freedom In A Way Rich Kids Never Will 
Wrestling
Magic the Gathering/D&D
Dysfunctional Family Relationships We Never Dealt With 
Driving
Wolves
Dogged Optimism Even Though You Know It’ll All Fall Apart
Glamorized Alcoholism
A-minor Chord
Names of Ancient Gods
Regionally Specific Trees
Lo-Fi Recording
Descriptions of How A Girl’s Hair Looks In The Sunset
Nostalgia for Things That Went Badly
Names of Interstates 
Not just acoustic guitar- Acoustic AF guitar