My 8 Least Favorite Things About 2020:
I carry a lot of 80’s Laura Ashley trauma. Someone referred to their own aesthetic as Gothic Cottagecore and that can’t be a thing.
The sippycup lids for Starbucks cold drinks. I also love turtles but I don’t like to drink from a ba-ba. Can’t I just send money to a gofundme for the turtles?
3. That Burrito Blanket
Thing is like a Magic Eye where everyone sees a delicious tortilla and I see a shit-stained white blanket. I can almost smell that thing, get it away from me.
4. Zoom Karaoke
Bless our little cotton socks for trying, it doesn’t work.
Growing food. I was so proud that I had grown five dollars of green onions over 6 months until I realized I had probably spent twenty dollars on water.
6. Instagram Live.
Your friend goes instagram live and you think oh what are they doin’ and it’s nothing, they’re not doing anything but they’ve seen that you’re watching and it’s a lowkey hostage situation.
7. People who make fun of my Quibi tattoo.
Look, I believed in something and it didn’t work out. I guess you’ve never made a mistake before.
Not everything needs to be tie-dyed. Give it a rest, Trent.
Maybe something else crappy happened this year, but I can’t think of it right now.