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Reading Between The Lines: Translating Missed Connections on Craigslist

Girl with PURPLE HAIR at Grumpy Cat event – m4w (West Side/Santa Monica)

I saw you in line at Kitson for the Grumpy Cat book signing. I commented that I loved your hair. I couldn’t talk then, but I’d love to connect! E-Mail me if you find this and would like to talk! You are stunning. 🙂 Doubt this will work, but you never know!

OK, let’s read this for comprehension:

“AT A GRUMPY CAT EVENT”: we are both idiot children raised by the Internet who worship an animal so crippled by neurological dysfunction that it cannot walk and will be dead in a year, but whose owners will try to retire on the money he earns

“You had purple hair”: you saw something in a magazine and decided to adopt a Festival lifestyle but your favorite band is Arcade Fire and you’ve never heard of any other bands.

“I couldn’t talk then”- I was with my girlfriend, but I don’t think she reads these, I didn’t mention anything about my own appearance, and I don’t think she heard me tell you I liked your hair

FUCK THEM IN THE FACE

Postscript: Grumpy Cat and his ne’er do well compatriot, Lil Bub, passed away the same year in 2019, of their profound medical anomalies.  I don’t know what happened to the star-crossed lovers in this ad.