Well, the nice people at LoveTV are letting me write articles for them about love, sex, and dating, and then they did me the favor of decorating my article with stock photos, here of good-looking Asian models. It’s called How To Date Today: A Guide For Every Generation.
“I went on a nice date with a man last week. We spoke for hours, and I think we really liked each other.”
“That’s great, Mom.”
“Shouldn’t I cancel the other two dates, because I like the first man?”
“No, mother, you can’t tell anything from a first date. Meet the other guys and see what happens.”
My mom called a couple days later to say she hadn’t heard from that first guy that she liked, even though she really thought she would, and why would he spend so much time with her if he wasn’t interested in seeing her again? That’s when I realized the real sadness of millennial style dating- explaining to your mom that she’s not allowed to develop feelings for people right away. The first step of online dating is not setting up your profile, but building a turtle shell of indifference around your heart.
The next week, my sister told me “That guy finally called Mom. He’s pulled up outside her house. I am totally spying on our mom. Oh my god he brought flowers. Oh my god she’s walking him into the house.”
I assured her that it was just to put the flowers in water, and that she shouldn’t worry. “Baby boomers don’t jump into the sack like twenty year olds with no body hair. There’s only so much they can affect. I think.” But honestly, I don’t know for sure.