I know it seems like Chariots of Rubber is all I write about these days, but that is largely because it is all I think about, or do. We are starting up again at the Interstate Firehouse on August 20th, running the 21st, 22nd, and at 6PM on the 23rd- and I will be playing Cindy, the Erotic Pleaser every night after Thursday. The show has new choregraphy, new films, a new theatre, and a new ending! It’s more Chubber than ever before!
During last night’s dress rehearsal, I was told my dress was not whorish enough, which has never happened to me before. Come out and see us! Ticket info and showdates here!
Bigger! Better! Bloodier! I am singing the role of Cindy, the Erotic Pleaser, a street-weary and shopworn prostitute, with a legendary past and a strange secret, but miles to go before she sleeps- so basically playing myself, for all shows except Thursday, August 20th! Visit the website, built by the wonderful Pete, for tickets and more information!
Jeffrey Wonderful and “Private” Mike Albano’s lovechild, Chariots of Rubber, has completed its first run, and it was a rollercoaster of fun and excitement at Theater Theatre.
They say that the rougher the dress rehearsal, the better the first show will be- in our last dress rehearsal, this young man, the lead in the play, broke his nose on a prop car:
During the first show, an audience member joined us onstage to take her clothes off until her boyfriend and the talented Jordaina helped her offstage, him murmuring “You’re not in the show. You’re not in it.” During the second show, another audience member came onstage during the same scene. I guess it just…moves people? The best backstage line was dancer Kimberly’s immortal remark as she was about to go onstage, “Omigod, I got no panties on!” Second run: (on tiny leather panties) “Are these too slutty for the show?” and the answer is: NOTHING is too slutty for this show. For dress rehearsal as Cindy, I was told my dress was “not whorish enough”, which is the first time that’s ever happened.
All in all, we sold out three shows, entertained members of the Dandy Warhols, Karaoke from Hell, and other local luminaries, broke a prop bed, passed a headcold to each other, and generated 5000 watts of ROCK. I’m already looking forward to the reprise in August!
I want you to know about the premiere of Portland’s first Heavy Metal Musical, Chariots of Rubber, written by Jeffrey Wonderful and “Private” Mike Albano. It has been in rehearsals for over a year, and finally, this strange fruit ripens! It is Grease meets Hedwig meets West Side Story meets Rocky Horror meets Julian Sand’s Warlock, and it is fantastic.I play Gas Station Attendant #2, a drug-addled lesbian, in a a heavy metal musical about love, loss and demolition derby in Coos Bay, OR. I will be singing, dancing, “acting”, and wearing a wig. There will be smoke, cars, carnage, singing, a rock band, talking nipples, sign language, and blood. Also, you know how colorblind casting was a big deal in modern theatre? This show has genderblind casting! The premiere is Thursday, July 23rd at 10:15 at Theater, Theatre on Belmont for $15. Chariots of Rubber will run through the weekend (Friday the 24th and Saturday the 25th) and again Aug 13/14/15. You can cash-check-paypal them! Write me write me write me at firstname.lastname@example.org! 100 people a night will witness this phenomenon, and everyone else will just have to gnash their little teeth!
At long last, after much gnashing of teeth and clashing of swords, the opening of Jeffrey Wonderful’s CHARIOTS OF RUBBER has been announced.
It debuts in the Arena stage at Theatre Theater on Belmont on one month from today on Thursday, July 23rd! I’m dancing in it, and have also recently gotten a speaking role- watch me tear up the stage as Gas Station Attendant #2! This is the ultimate Portland Rock & Roll Musical. The stories of fate and failure in Coos County demolition derby, featuring an original soundtrack, a live band, blood, cross-dressing cops, supernatural sisters, and in general comporting itself like Grease meets Hedwig and the Angry Inch! CHARIOTS OF RUBBER is an all original, heavy-metal musical about friendship, love and loss at the demolition derby. Written and directed by Jeffrey Wonderful, Music By Private Mike Albano performed by Jedediah Aaker, Keith Bornzin,Dylan Skiles.
Set to an ALL ORIGINAL score, Chariots of Rubber is performed by Portland rockers.
Jen Shepard as the hooker Cindy “Portland’s Erotic Pleaser”
Donny Don’t debuts as Crash
Seantos McDonald as Bow Tuck
Jarud Meyer as Tommy
and Rob Taylor as Tommy’s Mother.
The posters and flyers have been printed for the show, and we have been generating tags to add to the info-
*Dancing so hot, our choreographer’s pregnant! *What if I get a b*ner? *It’s a little car! You can stand on it!
In case you are sitting on lots of holiday cash and don’t know what to do, I wanted to point out that Dave Vanian of seminal (huh huh) punk band The Damned has co-founded a high-end goffic makeup line called Illamasqua. Who better to do it than Dave? He’s been blending clown white and smudging black liner since Billy Joe Armstrong’s parents argued over whether the condom would hold. Anyway, Dave’s makeup line is is the culmination of my dreams in many ways. Awesome things about Dave:
1. He is married to Patricia Morrison, formerly the bassist of Sisters of Mercy, and together they are the gothest couple ever. Everyone else should give up.
2. He once threatened to beat the tar out of Bauhaus’ Peter Murphy, for copying his “Vampire schtick”, not realizing that there was enough of it to go around for the UK, Germany, and the States for many years to come.
3. I have been in love with him, body and soul, since I was fifteen years old. All five foot six of him.