I’ve written about the best karaoke in the world, Portland’s Baby Ketten Karaoke, many times. I’ve done it here and here and here and here. My friend Jay Horton wrote all about the new all-ketten all the time club here.
It’s big news! Baby Ketten Karaoke is on the scene 7 nights a week on SE Powell, where it all began! Where I met Brophy and his crew, where I sang my first song, I Want Your Sex by George Michael, while wearing a petticoat of some sort (I mean a lot of these are sense memories), where I got drunk and bought a painting of a pitbull, where two sisters waited for an ambulance after one of them bit the other one’s nose sort of OFF, where Klingon Karaoke happened for a while, where I DJ’ed a terrible goth night where an attendee asked me to play the I’m Dead I’m Dead song, all that spirit and magic has swirled together for all the Kettens to meet up. I am getting there as soon as I can and I’ll see you when that happens! Check out the best songbook in the world here!
It’s my first time on Sam Varela and Brandie Posey’s amazing PICTURE THIS stand up comedy show, I have been paired with the amazing artist Craig Bartlett, who worked at Will Vinton and was behind Penny, from Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, as well as Hey Arnold! This is gonna be a once in a lifetime comedy show!
MONDAY: It picks up the silk kimonos from the cleaners. It checks the ticket very, verrry carefully before it gets back into its Geo Metro, to avoid bringing home the wrong kimonos. We do not want to punish It like last time. It’s harder on Us than on It.
TUESDAY: It sorts tax receipts. It puts mileage receipts in the blue envelope, it puts business purchases in the pink envelope, and it puts tattoo-and-piercing related expenses in a manila envelope. IT DOES NOT SPEND ALL DAY FUCKING AROUND ON FACEBOOK! Nobody cares what It ate for lunch, except that the food makes It look and smell disgusting.
WEDNESDAY: It brings a fruit plate for Jenny’s baby shower. It chooses a fruit plate with a lot of strawberry and pineapple and not as much melon or kiwi.
THURSDAY: We apologize for saying that it smells disgusting. It sometimes does not smell very bad. We still need It to dust the house, and also to collect all loose teeth into a Mason jar.
FRIDAY: It gets paaaaid. Yayyyy. It can buy all the tacky blue mascara and Lee Press-on Nails it wants. It cashes Its check right away, so that it does not appear outstanding on our bank balance. It is on call all weekend, so It does not turn Its phone off! Its phone is never off!
I first saw Cindy Sherman’s Untitled #122 in 1990 in Columbia, MO when I was an art student, and it’s my favorite piece of hers.
I wrote an art studenty little paper about it then and was delighted to see her used in promotion for the exhibit Imitation of Life at the Broad Museum.
Cindy made it for Interview magazine in 1983, when they lent her a rack of clothes and said “do something cool with this”, I believe this is a Romeo Gigli suit. Anyway, I love her fury and glamour and red-rimmed eye and balled up fists, and she’s who I think of most when I do my comedy: a woman right on the edge of absolutely losing her shit.
If you’ve ever wondered what I think about Caitlyn Jenner, Bill Cosby, Michael Jackson, feminism, catfood, Hot Topic, Northern White Rhinos, Dallas, Texas, Youtube, or gay rights, they’re all here! This record was recorded at the Complex, and if you were there, maybe you can hear your laugh!
Buy it, rate it, share it, love it, send it to your Mom, and most of all, pay me money for it!
$7- you can have the record on Bandcamp! Right away!
$10- you can have the record on digital from Itunes, on CD, or both and if you buy a CD I’ll autograph it and I’ll think good things about you.
$30- you get the record and you can buy me lunch
$40- you get the record and I’ll buy you lunch
$50- you get the record, and you can tell people you’re my friend, both on social media and in life.
$60- you get the record, I’ll take you out singing karaoke and some of my social cachet could rub off on you!
$70- You get the record and I’ll lend you something out of my closet and you can wear it and everything! There’s restrictions on this. Nothing with a European label. Don’t be ridiculous.
My friend Simon Max Hill is a hard-working casting agent who has been casting Portlandia, Nike spots, and other important television from his seat in Portland,OR. He’s also an enthusiast of dancing, robots, and being a super weird generator of ideas at all times. On Tuesday, he announced that it was my responsibility to make a sock puppet music video, and by Thursday I had it up.
Here’s Dark Footish covering the Smiths. And to the nice lady who said “Oh, this is great, I hope there’s more!”- it currently has 22 views. I am the gothic Naomi Campbell of Youtube, I don’t get out of my coffin for fewer than 100 views.
Update: Four years later and we’re up to 140 views, only 410 fewer than a video of Bloodmeadow cracking her neck.