comedy

Blessings and Curses

Blessings:

1. I saw a kid waiting for a bus this morning in a VOTE FOR PEDRO t-shirt that reminded me how glad I am that people stopped quoting Napoleon Dynamite all the time. Worst thing named after an Elvis Costello pseudonymn, EVER.

2. Vintage stores seem to have finally run out of NOS white belts and pointy-toed white boots.

3. Firedancing seems to have been replaced by the less flammable hula hooping: it used to be you couldn’t go to a nightclub or a grocery store grand opening without some lady with kerosene-soaked rags was gonna dance. What I like about hula hooping is that I don’t have to pretend there’s any skill involved.

4. People at work don’t say “BLING”anymore.

Curses:

1. I’ve seen three people on the MAX this week with old-fashioned moustaches tattooed on their pointer fingers to play Snidely Whiplash with. OK, the first time you saw someone with that, it was already over. The fat guy from Knocked Up has it. The first person with that tattoo was awesome. Everyone else is shitty.

2. MAC WORSHIP. There is no such thing as a hipster computer! Not unless it runs on cocaine! Your computer does not make you more creative or awesome! Your stuff does not define you! JAYSIS! GROW UP!

3.Burning Man Mini-Stilts. Again, the first Pan costume I saw was great. I love Guillermo Del Toro movies. But now it’s everywhere, and is therefore not awesome.

4. People at work can’t stop saying “STREET”.