COME SEE ME AT SKETCHFEST!

flyer sketchfest virginia jones
Friday’s show, Feb 3rd at 10:15!

My intro show is at the Brava- I don’t know anyone on it! Anyway, it’s a groovy late show and we’ll have fun! Tickets here!

comedy flyer sf sketchfest virginia jones
Studio Sets, Saturday at 7!

I’m doing my second show with cute Canadian couple Matt O’Brien and Julia Hladkowicz, and my friend Leah Rudick who I met at LAFF in Austin, years ago! I’m looking forward! Tickets here!

dalia malek interruption show sf sketchfest virginia jones
Last SF Sketchfest Show with Dalia Malek! Saturday at 9:30!

My last show is with London’s sweetheart, Dalia Malek, and her interruption show! I’m super stoked to be on the roster with my friends Chad Opitz and Dave Hill! Let’s go crazy! Tickets here!

Bloody Mary: An American Werewolf in London

bloody mary podcast

Happy New Year! Start your year off right with an episode of Bloody Mary, an all-lady horror podcast hosted by Kristin Lytie!

I met Kristin at this year’s Altercation Comedy Festival in Austin. We talk seniority in comedy, the neverending story, who’s an anxious attachment person, and how to tell if you are becoming a werewolf.

I’ve seen this movie a jillion times, most recently at Braindead Studios, which used to be the Cinefamily. That ended when the manager got popped for sexually harrassing, well, everybody.

I figured out after the fact that the title, An American in Werewolf, is based on A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, which is annoying. But I love this movie and I love talking about it, check it out on Apple podcasts here!

WORSHIP at Comedy Church with Tuesday Thomas!

comedy church december 9 tuesday thomas

From the deranged mind that brought you FREAKSHOW, comedian and producer Tuesday Thomas reinvents the performance space as COMEDY CHURCH, on alternate Fridays in the space next to 4874 W, Adams blvd!

It’s COMEDY CHURCH: It’s a religion that worships laughter.

Welcome to COMEDY CHURCH: it wants you to have fun.

Sweet COMEDY CHURCH: it will get drunk and confess that it loves you.

At COMEDY CHURCH, we commune, drink, and laugh at dirty jokes.

COMEDY CHURCH will stream on PAGAN TV on ROKU!

Miraculously, the price of your ticket returns to you via tax receipt for a charitable donation under 501 c3, benefitting LGBTQIA and BIPOC youth. It’s a win-win!

The address is for the venue isn’t real- it’s next door and shares a space with a communist bookstore. WHAT AN ADVENTURE!

It’s all organized by Tuesday Thomas, Beautiful Lunatic, Tiktok’s TRANMA-who hurts BECAUSE she cares. She’s been featured on VH1, MTV, E! and BBC’s World of Weird.

If you do nothing else to give and take cheer his Holiday season, come check out Comedy Church! Tickets HERE!

CHANGING THE WORLD

Virginia Jones does comedy. Virginia Jones is your funny friend. Virginia Jones wants to hold your hand and tell you secrets.

Tonight I sat down and bravely made myself a new promo one-sheet. Drink it in, I have a couple celebrity quotes. Thank you for coming on the journey with me.

ALTERCATION COMEDY in AUSTIN!

Altercation Comedy Festival

I’m headed to Austin for my first Altercation Comedy Festival next week, with my friends Jackie Kashian, Mike Weibe, the McCuewans, Kate Willett, Eddie Pepitone, Andy Iwancio, Henry Phillips, and secret headliner Todd Glass! I’m doing a set at a house party on Friday, Oct 21st at 7 (see my Insta for details) and hosting the Henry Phillips show at 9 at Kick Butt Coffee! Yes, it’s just that fancy! Tickets here

Would-Be Reductress

Here’s my packet that is not going to be used by Reductress, because they told me it wouldn’t!   

  1. Science News: Clean Energy Source Burns Unwearable Dresses You Bought Online

  Scientists have created a power utility from America’s infinitely renewable resource, useless crap you bought online.  Did you know? A poorly beaded dress can heat a house for fifteen minutes, a giant quilted puffer coat that says “QUEEN” on the back can power a Roomba for a day.

Story Type: Science News

  1.  Your Baby Will Roast Your Highschool Style By Kindergarten

   In today’s rapidly  accelerating culture, your newborn baby will be roasting your best highschool outfits by the time they are out of diapers.  Take a deep breath and prep to get read!

Story Type: Fashion & Style

  1. Trendy Night Trainers: Squeeze Some Cardio Out Of Your Walk Of Shame

A listicle of great trainers to wear out so you can get home without too much trouble tomorrow, including:

  1. Sleek black sneaks that look great with everything, including toting your carcass home on the El
  2. Bedazzled Chucks, for when you get dragged out to find the D in Long Island. 
  3. Metallic Platform Trainers: the space age option for when you need to get home and get some of your own space

Story Type: Fashion & Style

    5. Woman In Your Office Opines, “I Hope I Look As Good As Helen Mirren When I’m 60”, But Does Not Look That Good Now

  Story Type: Celebrity 

  6. Guess What’s Wrong With Your Vagina Now?

   From grooming to jade eggs, there’s always something more you can be doing to make your vagina acceptable- get on it, bitch!

  Story Type: Beauty & Health

7. “What Are You Looking For On Here?” Asks Dude Seeking Reply, “Casual Sex With A Hideous Man”

   It’s every dating site dude’s opener, a seemingly innocent question that lets you know you shouldn’t expect too much, nay, anything from your interaction.  If he were asked the same, he would not, reply not, answer honestly.

   Story Type: Dating & Sex

8. “Why Can’t Women Be Chill?” Asks Man Whose Reproductive Capacity Ends With Death

  Why can’t women just hang out for eight or ten years before getting all uptight about commitment and kids, asks a man who has no timeline on kids whatsoever.

    Story Type: Dating & Sex

9. Dazzling Two Hour Ritual For The Perfect Dewy, Highlighted, No-Makeup Look!

  Starting with extensive exfoliation, then rubbing your skin all over with a little roller, and ending with blending your pores out of existence, this is the perfect look to pretend you’re low-maintenance and attract men who think saying women shouldn’t wear makeup is any better than saying they should wear lots of makeup!

   Story Type: Beauty & Health

10: “Why Can’t We Have Chill No-Strings Sex And You Don’t See Other People”, Non-Boyfriend Demands.

   There are so many new permutations on offer for dating scenarios that don’t exist, see also single polyamorous guys and girls who are very sexually conservative up until the day they meet you.

   Story Type: Dating & Sex

11.  “I Have No Boundaries” Says Woman, Like It’s A Feature

    “I absolutely say the first thing in my head, and I treat everyone like my best friend”, says Sharon Sluyter, as if it’s a positive asset and not absolutely terrifying to everyone around her.  

12. “I Guess I’m A Self-Sufficient Loner” Says Guy Whose Mother Still Does His Laundry

  “She likes to do it,” says Jordan.  

13.  “GUILT-FREE SNACKS: DID YOU KILL SOMEONE TO STEAL THOSE SNACKS?”

  Did you steal the snack?  Did you commit a murder to get them?  Great, it’s guilt-free!

14. “STEP BY STEP: 10 SQUATS THAT WILL DISTRACT FROM YOUR PERSONALITY FLAWS”

JUST! KEEP! SQUATTING!

Hi From Virginia Jones

This is my one-sheet with all my fancy stuff on it, for fancy people! C’mon! That Virginia Jones, she’s a star! Goddamnit!

Virginia Jones information promo
One-sheet for comedian Virginia Jones