Dune! Cosplay! Tiktok! I made a Tiktok about Dune in Fremen cosplay. I make stuff every day and some of it is good. This isn’t, this is a joke I did about Dune. But it’s short. But other content is good. I’m pleased that ten years ago, this would have been a joke I did to whomever I saw the movie with and that would be it, but now I can do it for you guys.
I was recently interviewed with a couple other vegan comics like Matt Gubser, Myq Kaplan, and Dhaya Lakshminarayanan. You can read the whole thing here!
In high school in Texas, Los Angeles comedian Virginia Jones used to go out on dates as a chaperone with her best friend who was gay. “His mom thought I would somehow keep him from having sex with men.” says Jones. “One night I’m sitting in the front room of a gay guy’s apartment as my friend is having sex with him in the next room and there was a copy of ‘Meat is Murder’ by the Smiths and I listened to it. It’s a terrible song, but until that moment I had never really thought about where meat comes from,” Jones said.
The next day, Jones became a vegetarian—who slowly moseyed into veganism. “As time goes on it became a lot easier to become a vegan as technology and accessibility grew. The only vegan I knew in Dallas, Texas would regularly eat a plate of fried tofu with soy sauce. We ate a lot of cheese pizza and French fries. I ate garbage, which led to a vitamin deficiency in high school. We didn’t have veggie burgers—we would make falafel burgers and fry it up,” Jones recalls.
With abundant low-budget college comfort food like Taco Bell, it’s easy to be a junk-food vegetarian. That changed when Jones went vegan. “It was only when I went vegan that it was pretty easy to see that whole grains, vegetables and a protein source made me feel best. I became more aware of making healthier choices when I went vegan,” Jones points out.
I’m on Tiktok as badinia, making comedy content!! Here it is! Be my Tiktok friend!
What will we need to make the perfect Blade Runner movie?
Something boiling
Neon in the rain
Fetishy latex jackets
Crowds of pedestrians in weird masks
Wet sex workers
Pianos
Giant buildings shaped like pyramids
Street food/night markets
That opthamologist setup where lenses are flipped with other lenses
High contrast lighting
Inexplicable accents
Origami
Printed photos
CRT screens
Vangelis
Lens flare
Eyes: close up, tattooed, missing
Serial numbers on everything
Harrison Ford holding a square glass tumbler
Cityspeak
Jazz
Cigarettes
Slow ceiling fan
Saxophone
What else?
A Letter From The Editor of Vogue Magazine
We’ve got food, diet, and skin trends, but let’s face it, you’re all here for the same thing- the FALL FASHION PREVIEW! It is LEGEND. It is the Christmas Mass of fashion magazines- everyone shows up once a year!
After this editor’s letter we’ve got the table of contents, a list of the celebrity photographers who aren’t cancelled yet, a Gucci ad, another Gucci ad, and BOOM here it is, it’s been gossiped about and worried over for six months: what’s the hot trend for fall?
It’s plaid again, ya dumbshits! It will always be plaid! It’s back to school, so every woman alive is dressing like she’s showing up to Saint Lucy Of The Bleeding Eyes.
It’s because men keep this fantasy of women with knee socks and short plaid skirts long after their own kids graduate college.
I mean, if you want to know- that’s not really why.
It’s because in 1945, the UK wool industry, drunk on military production, had overruns they could not handle. They convinced Vogue Magazine to promote wool plaid for Fall 1946. Business being what it is, we HAVE to do wool plaid as a fashion trend EVERY FALL or the ENTIRE INDUSTRY WILL COLLAPSE. We have all signed a binding document, witnessed by Harry S. Truman and Winston Churchill, tying us to this unending, infernal cycle.
That’s a secret, which you’re not supposed to know. But after all these years, I know that NO-ONE has ever read this far down the letter from the editor.
Fall is also when everyone’s Goth, because New York starts getting dark and that’s where the fashion editors live- so there’s gonna be a shiny dominatrix boot and a smoky eye as well. Leather skirts. Spikes on handbags, the least scary place to put spikes. Spank me, Daddy! I work in marketing!
Next is the makeup section, where some poor fuck photo stylist has sliced up a tube of Gucci lip lacquer with a length of dental floss and stacked it up in an uneven, wabi-sabi tower of tiny red grease slabs and drizzled the whole thing over with a clear gel, because there is nothing interesting about makeup.
But don’t forget about plaid! We’re doing plaid! Did you know it has different names? It’s Stewart Tartan, Black Watch, or Burberry. You’ll get it in skirts and on bags and blouses and jackets. It’s on ties, headbands and shit, let’s do panties too! Now get out there and get mad for plaid!
Life is long, children. Life is long.
Signed, Anna Wintour
I’m Virginia Jones-
Comedian, writer, actor, and goth. Thanks for checking in.
I’m into music, art, and fashion. Click on links at the top of the page for my press kit or any upcoming dates, or click around for my best articles on comedy, goth, art, costumes, music, love and dating, feminism, and other stuff.
I’d also love it if you checked out my album, Gothic American, on Spotify or Itunes.