Just What?
Just Whites- I don’t think that this kind of intolerant baking product has any place in a post-Imus political landscape, do you? (RIP 2019 Don Imus, I guess)
DJ Retrogade and Retrovirus: Convergence Playlist 1
One hour of nonstop Convergence DJ action, and a signoff dedication to the evil Dr. Bennington and the patient and genteel Nurse Whatley. And now, pictures of me in a skull face and a bustle.
Little dogs specifically do not like wearing tiny hats, although they are perfectly suited to one another.
Convergence 13
OK, be fair: It’s really not as bad as this. But it’s not that much better, either. Today I saw a magic recipe of top hat/frock coat/mourning trousers/WHITE SNEAKERS, and I had to wonder what’s going on in the world.
The lovely Kat deflected my admiration of her costume, claiming that it was just the dress she cleans the toilets in.
It’s a fair question- why get dressed for an hour to go someplace and stand around in the dark? And did you know that the slang for goths in Mexico is “Darks?” It’s kinder than my favorite euphemism, “Dark Dorks”.
On the good side, we did get to see an amazing acrobatic troupe called Kazum.
And here’s the backside view, which is also pleasant.
The man on the left is part general,
part bird.
This man on the right was imprisoned for five years, but spent his time writing his diary on a dinner jacket.
Two days in, questions still abound: Why are giant platform boots still necessary? Are big girls in corsets really fooling anyone? Why did Nivek Ogre perform entirely behind a scrim? Are the rumors true that it was really Clay Aiken filling in for the lead singer of Skinny Puppy?
I love you, Clay Aiken.
Everything that Rises Must Go To Convergence
DJ’s Retrograde and Retrovirus have received their DJ slots for Convergence 13. There are a lot of good things about playing the opening slots on weeknights. You get to deal with any technical difficulties with the setup yourself. You don’t have to stay up too late. You don’t have to worry about overcrowding on the dance floor. You can be sure that no-one else has played the “I’m Dead, I’m Dead” song. On the other hand, getting in a car with a face fulla clown white in the cruel, truthful sunlight is always a time for soul-searching and remorse.
I hope any spooky early birds will come visit us at the Fez, opening and closing the convention! We’ll be serving up a delicious selection of little-heard deathrock, post-punk, and new-wave songs to nostalgically transport listeners to a time before they were born.
Postscript: It was a ton of fun, by which I mean it was a most dark and magickal time nestling in the bosom of my velvet-clad mistress, and I’ll have the playlist up later.
Grand Theft Pizza Party!
This Wednesday the 9th, come see a GREAT comedy variety show at Ash Street Saloon at 9PM- Grand Theft Pizza Party! Hosted by the very funny Andy Wood, see sets by Bobby Hacker, Holli Pappan, Virginia Jones and the PNW’s legendary Dwight Slade, short videos, and sketch comedy from THEM, featuring the former cast of the Famous Mysterious Actor show- Also, we’ll get a visit from world-renowned motivational speaker Ed Foreman!
What Motivates Dogs?
I read with great interest this article from the NYT about dog behavior: dogs responding positively to stimulus will wag their tail predominantly to the right, whereas dogs unsure or hostile will wag to the left, and this is tied to left and right-brain activity. When we tried to duplicate the results at home, we were stymied by the fact that our dogs were born without tails. Chico has a little stump, but instead of wagging back and forth, he does a counter-clockwise rotation, like a helicopter blade. However, my innovative research partner took the project in a new direction, and armed with snacks and a cellphone camera, researched a dog’s willingness to enter gainful employment for treats.
Dogs will work for Lil’ Smokies beef sausages.
These dogs offered to sit, stay, dance, wash a car, and complete tax forms (the E-Z, not the 1040) for the Lil’ Smokies that they were offered. The little one offered to write the sequel to Wild Hogs, the John Travolta motorcycle movie.
Dogs will not work for an apple. Please note the total lack of interest.
Bad Dog Alert!
Her name is Lola, and she’s a showgirl. She’s been spotted causing trouble and shoplifting at local vegan grocery store Food Fight. She claims that there have been misunderstandings, and that she just has what are known as “sticky paws”. Sometimes a cute face hides evil intentions.