Andrew Max Levy, @justoffthesix on Instagram, has been shooting LA comics and comedy shows for years. He recently challenged Angelenos to donate to #blacklivesmatter in exchange for a portrait, and scheduled over 70 shoots. I was so glad to be part of an important fundraiser and get some nice shots.
Most of us have upgraded from our first masks, if you were lucky, the N95, which was a hot fashion item in March.
Now, we have an assortment of fabric masks in a fun array of colors and textures. Our friends have made them, our moms have made them, maybe we’ve made them. We’ve graduated from starting every outing by tying a bandanna around our faces like Jesse James. We’ve hit Etsy to get a mask with Batman or Hamilton on it, any fandom except Harry Potter because fuck that lady! But how do we refresh our look for a long, hot isolated Summer?
Remember sunscreen! It may feel safe to go out with sunglasses and a mask on, but if you don’t use sunscreen, your tan is gonna make you a reverse Panda bear.
For fun, coordinate your mask with your swimsuit, your sneakers, or the sweatpants you’ve been wearing for 150 days in a row!
You can wear a lined mask in breezy summer fabrics like poplin and broadcloth, do a printed floral for a flirty, feminine touch, or stick with canvas or denim for a practical, DIY look.
If your mask looks boring, and/or you’ve gone insane, accessorize with sequins, rhinestones, or studs! Not grommets, though. Grommets are bad.
Cut up those band tees you’ve outgrown or gotten bleach on and make a mask by hand! Now, everyone at the Trader Joe’s can tell you like Belle and Sebastian or Sebadoh! Maybe you can put a band together on Zoom! Super cool. Make sure and double line it.
If you don’t like wearing a mask, or don’t think you can breathe with one on, stay home! Do you want to go grocery shopping without a mask? Order groceries online! If you think the rules that apply to everyone else don’t apply to you, stay home and do a podcast, you fucking narcissist! Stay the fuck home!
Jesus, did you guys get this email? I know the airlines are having a tough time of Covid-19, but this seems…I don’t know, extreme?
Lady Bloodmeadow joins Tinder. If you want a goth girlfriend, please watch her video. She really only has one requirement for partners. If you’d like to see more of Bloodmeadow, check out her Youtube playlist here.
This is a riveting, complete map of everywhere I’ve performed comedy. I update it when I perform somewhere new.
This map includes comedy performed at bar gigs, open mics, one-nighters, club weekends, tours, Tribble runs, festivals, and industry showcases. It’s like a trainspotter guide, but just for the comedy of Virginia Jones.
This map covers mostly West Coast comedy, but I’ve got a couple spots in the UK, HK, and New York/Boston.
If I’ve ever done your show or your town and you wonder what I thought about it, you can probably find out! Many of these venues have changed or moved or closed, but I’m still doing standup. I’m still Sisyphus, just pushing a comedy rock up a hilarious hill.
Don’t feel bad for Sisyphus, by the way. He was a real jerk. Did you know he only married his wife because he hated her dad? She had her own issues, she killed their kids when she found out. Neither one of them were great people.
Anyway, here’s a Google map of everywhere I’ve performed comedy!
White Americans: Wow, Black Lives Matter. I can’t believe all you’ve been through. How can we help?
Black Americans: Wow, that’s great, you can march with us, you can donate to #BLM and charities that help with legal fees and bail money, and you can make a habit of supporting Black businesses.
White Americans: Great. What else?
Black Americans: Well, you could amplify Black voices and also petition to local government representatives on behalf of Black people who have died at the hands of police.
White Americans: Happy to do that. And we will also post teary eyed videos about how we regret racism and we will get in fights with strangers on Facebook!
Black Americans: Uhhh if you want to
White Americans: Yes, we will seek out people on Facebook who we don’t know well and unfriend them if they don’t support #BLM!
Black Americans: Well, you can talk with your friends and family about systematic racism, that would be great
White Americans: Not enough! We will track down people we don’t know who are posting about all lives matter on Facebook and we will try to get them fired from their jobs! We will call other white women Karen, the worst thing you can call a person!
Black Americans: Uh you don’t have to do that
White Americans: STAND BACK AND WATCH US SHINE!
A helpful letter to send people during Covid-19
Dear Friend/Family Member/Other;
I hope this personalized form letter finds you
C. as well as can be expected
D. up to your earholes in homemade bread
E. making a killing selling black market hand sanitizer.
This week, I made a few PPE masks at home and wanted to send you
C. several for you and your
I hope that
_______ is also doing well.
I want you to know that I love you, and I know that you
A. love me back
B. wish I didn’t
C. know who I am.
Remember, this is all temporary and one day we’ll look back at this time and laugh
It’s all just a fad, like dabbing or Linsanity or Snuggie parties, or when we put those old-timey moustaches on everything.
Keep safe, my brave
B. family member
and I will see you on the other side, and we will clasp hands warmly and through our
A. hyperbaric chambers
B. rubber gloves
C. VR realities.
Your Friend/Family Member/Other