Peter Murphy is Blown Away by Maxell Tape


I’m glad to see this Maxell ad with Peter Murphy’s “Blown Away” spot this week, because I sometimes thought I remembered it, and sometimes I think “That’s too weird, I must be nuts. Why would the lead singer of Bauhaus be in an ad for cassette tape?”

Belle And Sebastian Play Songs

On the 9th anniversary of 9/11, I was reminded of sitting in shell-shock all day, and then going to see Belle and Sebastian in the evening. Only ten percent of the ticketholders showed up, so it was like seeing them at a really strange warehouse party. They were so kind to us, like a healing Scottish balm on our wounds. They played Turn, Turn, Turn by the Byrds.  They’ve got a new record coming out in October. Everyone will say they hate it at first, but it’ll be great. That’s what always happens.

Reflections on Bumbershoot

Over Labor Day Weekend I was afforded the opportunity to perform as part of the Famous Mysterious Actor show at Bumbershoot.

I held My Pet Monster and told jokes to people who were really not extremely sure what was going on. I don’t know what my facial expression is about, but I’m sure I thought I was doing something different.

Before the Show

I really enjoyed the show, and having “quality time” with some of my comedy pals from Portland, Salem, and Seattle. I liked having an Artist’s badge, which meant that I didn’t wait in lines with the “rubes”, and people looked at me, curious to know if I was famous at all, which I am not.

After the Show

After the show, I leapt out onto the gangway, eager to suck all the life out of the Bumbershoot music and arts festival for FREE.

Within five minutes, I was shocked and appalled to realize: I HATE MUSIC FESTIVALS! I was surrounded by young people who were over-bandanna’d and facial-haired, and excited about seeing bands called things like Leather Wolf Eyes and The Bambi Sluts. I escaped the grounds and headed out to eat delicious Seattle vegan foods at Pizza Pi.

Even Later

It was worth it to see Billy Bragg play a show in the warm twilight. He had a sore throat, but soldiered through to play a great solo set. He made fun of my laugh, which he has not done since I saw him at Champaign-Urbana, Illinois in 1992 when he played for an environmental activist’s rally. MEMMOORIIIES! Oh, and I found all the old people. We were all at Billy Bragg. Hilariously, not one but two concert-goers yelled at him that he should play music and not talk politics. GO TO A DIFFERENT SHOW. 

Thanks, PROK! FMA! Bumbershoot!

Dreams Come True at Bumbershoot!

Seattlites, I stand before you proclaiming that this year’s Bumbershoot comedy line-up will be not only good but great.

I have been afforded the opportunity to join my favoritest talk show ever, the Famous Mysterious Actor show, alongside Billy Wayne Davis! I will be there at the Comedy Theatre West, The Vera Project Stage, for a wonderful show that starts at 1:15 with candy and screaming.  Please join me!

A Stranger quote from the ravishing and hilarious Lindy West:

Famous Mysterious Actor Show


The Famous Mysterious Actor, host of the hilariously surreal late night talk show parody known as The Famous Mysterious Actor Show, performs in what appears to be a Mexican wrestling mask, soiled army parka, and black fright wig. He was not born to fame, but is more than willing to thrust it down your throat.

Jay-Z’s On To The Next One: Probably A Good Signifier of the End of the Universe

Imagined preproduction interview with Jay-Z-

Director: What would you like in your video?
Jay-Z: Milk, flaming basketballs, corpsepaint, a dancer with diamonds on her face, paint being poured over Damien Hirst skulls, and teeth. Why, what were you thinking? Like, what if Matthew Barney made a music video? I’d love to have a Nike Dunk with the swoosh removed, filled with milk.
Director: Can we have birds, ink, and a vampire boxer?
Jay-Z: Sure, knock yourself out.

A skull-faced guy in a tuxedo has an emotional breakdown in the video, portrayed by a musician called Drums of Death who tours with Peaches. He’s Scottish. Of course. Scotland, of course, has had a rich and varied rap connection.

Director: Maybe we can shoehorn a yacht and a horse in there with the animal skulls and hand signals?
Jay-Z: Ok, but I’m not backing down on the hammer dipped in housepaint.
Director: DONE and DONE.

Karaoke In Its Homeland

And so it came that I was in Hong Kong for the last night, and had not yet sung any karaoke.  Since I was alone, and singing karaoke alone in a foreign land does not make you pathetic, but strong and brave, and because I was worried about oversleeping for my flight, I made the only logical decision available to me: I would close the karaoke bars on a Wednesday night, pack whilst drunk, and stay up until it was time to fly home.

I started out at My Favor Bar in Nathan Street, a bar whose vodka selection was WHITE WOLF VODKA, the cheapest vodka available on the free market.  It is so full of impurities, it has a thickness.

This is my friend Jacky, who taught me how to operate the DIY karaoke system.  We sang I Love Rock and Roll, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, and Don’t You Want Me, Baby.  The barstaff was thrilled that someone who spoke  English was singing.

On the one hand, you have to enter your own songs, but on the other hand, there did not appear to be any real stigma to singing again and again.  Also, every song has a video.  If it doesn’t have a video, it’s not karaoke in HK.

Karaoke is so prevalent that it’s hard to find a bar where it’s NOT offered, but hard to find one where it’s the focus.  Out of the three bars I hit, the gain on the mike was so high that it’s best held waist level.  The reverb is also turned way up, so you sound like you’re singing in an echoey bathroom.  Also, there’s no stage or light, you just sing anonymously from your barstool.

On my way to my third karaoke bar, I cut myself on a glass elevator.  This is considered an occupational hazard and is not a cause for concern.

Selection:  The English selection holds all your standard favorites:

Centerfold by J.Geils, Spinning Wheel by Blood, Sweat, and Tears, and WHAM’S Careless Whispers.  After that, there is an obscene amount of ABBA, Beatles, Simon & Garfunkel, and Richard Marx (!).  I was asked repeatedly to sing various Richard Marx songs that I had never heard before.  No wonder they think we’re mentally challenged.  They think we LOVE Richard Marx.

Facilities:  This is a really nice way to say- UNISEX TOILETS.

My last bar was named after my vocal range, which is good because I can’t remember anything about it.

Style: The preferred microphone is wireless, and the preferred delivery is sitting, and the preferred song is Cantonese ballads. These are sung by superstars in outfits that make Bjork look like Kathie Lee Gifford.  The Chinese find my style, which involves dancing,  various attempts to “work the room”, and make eye contact, embarrassing.

By the way, staying up all night before a twenty-hour flight is a GREAT idea until you actually turn up at the airport at 6AM, strung out and surrounded by Australians.

PASHA PRODUCTIONS PHOTOGRAPHY

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Any comics looking for HEADSHOTS: A very talented local photographer is Pasha Gross, and she shoots bands, strippers, and roller derby gals in town, and is in general a little fun and has a little edge to her.  I just did my shoot yesterday and had a lot of fun, and feel confident that I’ll get a great picture out of it.

Here is her website to check out her existing work: www.pashaproductions.com, you can make an appointment through that site, or you can call her at 503-236-5585.