Category: vegan

Celebrity Ice Cream

With the history of Ben Jerry’s celebrity ice cream flavors, starting with Cherry Garcia and Phish Food and Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream, the name of Willie Nelson’s Peach Cobbler is disappointingly average. The Pulitzer Prize-winning Oregonian tries to counter the mediocrity with a celebrity ice-cream naming contest for a nominal prize.   Here are my entries, don’t steal ’em.

1. Morrissey’s William, It Was Really Nothing Like Sherbet

2. Prince’s Purple Rain…Bow Sherbet

3. John Popper’s Blueberry Traveller- Now, with hidden arsenal flavor! or, John Popper’s Obese Gun Nuts.

4. Robert Smith’s Icing Sugar Smoothie ( a joke for the real ones)

5. Michael Richard’s N is for Nougat Swirl

6. Britney Spears’ Oops, I’m Nuts!

7. Marilyn Manson’s Mechanical Animal Crackers

8. Beck’s Mellow Golden Caramel

10. Prince’s Caramel-Colored Funk or Prince’s Under The Cherry Spoon

11. Nick Drake’s Pink Moon Pie

13. Snoop’s Doggy Chow

Postscript: Well, the results came out and the winner of a motorized ice-cream scooper was for “Dick Cheney’s Go Fudge Yourself.” I guess the world’s not ready for the truth!

Y’all wantin’ sweet tea?

I am back from a tour of textile mills in beautiful Greensboro, NC, and am really happy to have something to eat besides salad and potatoes.  I was able to help translate South Carolinian for Portlanders via my Texas past.  “Y’all wantin’ sweet tea?” is just a nonsense birdsong to the uninitiated.

My spidey-sense started tingling on the way to a vegan restaurant when we saw a vintage clothing store and people playing Hacky-Sack, because I could tell we were in “my” part of town, that is, near a college campus. We saw some fellas kicking back with drinks on the roof of their house, apparently because the porch couch was too stinky to sit on any longer.

I met a nice young man from Belfast who is interning with a local yarn manufacturer, and who wore a green rubber bracelet to show his support for the search for a cure for Irishness. I hope they succeed. Please, Jesus?

Flying home, I sat next to a young man reading Bowhunter magazine.

Fare thee well, Greensboro! I’ll miss the Cheerwine and sweet tea!

Postscript: The very kind tour guide sent me a twelve-pack of Cheerwine to help with the pain! I laughed, I thought I’d die. I have never recieved a gift based on my blog before, and I am going to have to be more careful about what I ask for.