Chivo!

virginia jones photographed by chivo ballerina

virginia jones photographed by chivo ballerina

I was in a beer ad shot by Chivo, the three-time Oscar winner whose nickname means “The Goat”.

I play a plus sized, sad ballerina in a vintage playroom, shot in the beautiful Palace Theatre on Broadway.  The photos he posted on Instagram are lovely and paintinglike and I thought I’d put them here.

Color-Correcting Makeup Tips

MAKEUP TIPS!

In order to hide:
Redness- green
Sallowness- purple
Dark undereye circles- coral
Insecurity- gold
Secret crush- orange
Drug addiction- grey
Sadness- glitter

Seriously.  Nobody will think you’re sad if you have glitter all over your face.

Bereet From Guardians of the Galaxy: A Meditation

folkbereetThis year for Halloween I went as Bereet, from Guardians of the Galaxy.  I dressed as her because I really liked the movie, and also because I found her role in the film kind of interesting.

Guardians of the Galaxy is remarkable for having a full-on female action star hero in Gamora, a female baddie in Nebula, and a female political leader in Nova Prime.  It is that rare thing, a sci fi movie that passes the Bechdel test.  Gamora resists Peter Quill’s well-worn come-on outside a bar in Knowhere, much to his surprise, and this elevates her from conquest to potential partner.

This is not true of Bereet.  Bereet is Peter Quill’s last casual hook-up before he meets Gamora.  He picks her up on Xandar and he wakes up the and heads to Morag the next morning to steal an orb that the puts the story in motion.  As he makes his escape from the planet, he flips his spaceship and wakes Bereet.

Now, there are lots of pink people on Xandar.  People with jobs, people with families.  None of them speak or act like Bereet, whose voice and delivery is that of a brain-damaged Russian.  She doesn’t seem to understand technology, nor the manners of modern communication, because she is a sexual creature and a joke.  Peter doesn’t remember her name or even that she’s onboard, hours after seducing her and letting her sexily wriggle into his childhood t-shirt, which he has carted around for twenty years and now loses forever.

An hour later in the film, Peter risks his own life to rescue Gamora as her body deteriorates in outer space.  Meeting her, an independent woman who does not immediately fall to his seduction, makes him give up his playboy ways and become a fully functioning human being.

Bereet, despite being beautiful and pliable, doesn’t deserve any of this.  I know she’s a foil to show how much Peter grows up.  I’m not 100% a dick.   I just thought the difference between Gamora and Bereet was interesting to observe.  Sometimes my costumes are more about walking around as that character and person for awhile.  Or just covering myself in pink airbrush makeup.

Here is my Facebook album, The Several Moods of Bereet.

Ladies of Comedy!

I’m so excited to be on this show in a vintage store in Burbank with some AMAZING women, including Laura Kightlinger, Beth Stelling, Emily Heller, April Richardson, and the lovely and talented Brandie Posey!

POSTSCRIPT: This wound up being one of the most memorable shows I have ever done in Los Angeles. For one, each performer was offered a free dress from Pinup Girl’s amazing private label brands of beautifully fitted vintage-inspired pieces.

Secondly, amazing actor James Urbaniak was there with this then-girlfriend, the artist Sara Pocock, and they thought I was pretty funny.

Thirdly, we had a small earthquake during the show, and I thought, “Hey, I might die in the same room as James Urbaniak.

Halloween 2013: God Save the Queen!

virginia jones as Queen Victoria costume goth

This year I decided to find a new “sexy” costume, so I went with the dowager Queen Victoria. She wore mourning black for forty years after the death of her beloved consort Prince Albert.  She was the first Royal to be photographed, and believed that cosmetics were for prostitutes and actresses. Is there really a difference?

The high point of my Halloweek was visiting Emo Philips, and he seemed very pleased to meet Sexy Queen Victoria.

virginia jones as queen victoria photographed by evan ballinger

Happy Halloween, everyone!