This year for Halloween I went as Bereet, from Guardians of the Galaxy. I dressed as her because it was, comparatively, a cheap and easy costume, because I really liked the movie, and also because I found her role in the film kind of interesting.
Guardians of the Galaxy is remarkable for having a full-on female action star hero in Gamora, a female baddie in Nebula, and a female political leader in Nova Prime. It is that rare thing, a sci fi movie that passes the Bechdel test. Gamora becomes the love interest, but not before Peter proves himself to be deserving of her attention and she of his. She resists his well-worn come-on outside the bar in Knowhere, much to his surprise, and this elevates her from conquest to potential partner.
This is not true of Bereet. Bereet is Peter Quill’s last casual hook-up before he meets Gamora. He picks her up on Xandar (I assume, because she’s pink like the residents of Xandar) and he wakes up the and heads to Morag the next morning to steal an orb that the puts the story in motion. As he makes his escape from the planet, he flips his spaceship and wakes Bereet.
Now, there are lots of pink people on Xandar. People with jobs, people with families. None of them speak or act like Bereet, whose voice and delivery is that of a brain-damaged Russian. She doesn’t seem to understand technology, nor the manners of modern communication, because she is a sexual creature and a joke. Peter doesn’t remember her name or even that she’s onboard, hours after seducing her and letting her sexily wriggle into his childhood t-shirt.
An hour later in the film, Peter risks his own life to rescue Gamora as her body deteriorates in outer space. Meeting her, an independent woman who does not immediately fall to his seduction, makes him give up his playboy ways and become a fully functioning human being.
Bereet, despite being beautiful and pliable, doesn’t deserve any of this. I know she’s a foil to show how much Peter grows up. I’m not 100% a dick. I just thought the difference between Gamora and Bereet was interesting to observe: In space, women are equal, but some women are more equal than others. Sometimes my costumes are more about walking around as that character and person for awhile. Or just covering myself in pink airbrush makeup.
Here is my Facebook album, The Several Moods of Bereet.
I’m so excited to be on this show in a vintage store in Burbank with some AMAZING women, including Laura Kightlinger, Beth Stelling, Emily Heller, April Richardson, and the lovely and talented Brandie Posey!
POSTSCRIPT: This wound up being one of the most memorable shows I have ever done in Los Angeles. For one, each performer was offered a free dress from Pinup Girl’s amazing private label brands of beautifully fitted vintage-inspired pieces.
Secondly, amazing actor James Urbaniak was there with this then-girlfriend, the artist Sara Pocock, and they thought I was pretty funny.
Thirdly, we had a small earthquake during the show, and I thought, “Hey, I might die in the same room as James Urbaniak.
An amazing birthday portrait of myself as Bloodmeadow by Monsieur Pete Ellison, the very talented wunderkind at www.heyitspete.com! And when’s the last time you watched an episode of GOTHIXXX? Probably too long!
Postscript: Here it is printed and framed in a lovely frame I stole from an Oscars party- You can get your own print of Bloodmeadow enjoying a Slurpee and haunted by ghosts here!
This year I decided to find a new “sexy” costume, so I went with the dowager Queen Victoria. She wore mourning black for forty years after the death of her beloved consort Prince Albert. She was the first Royal to be photographed, and believed that cosmetics were for prostitutes and actresses. Is there really a difference?
The high point of my Halloweek was visiting Emo Philips, and he seemed very pleased to meet Sexy Queen Victoria.
Happy Halloween, everyone!
It has come to my attention that I have been immortalized, in cheap wig form, by the good people at California Costumes. Now, I don’t know when I became a blind pop star, but evidently that’s my overall look. These people owe me royalties and I’m going to sit right here on my couch until I get them.
I stopped into Forever 21 to see how cheap jeans could possibly get ($7!), when I saw some t-shirts with a tiger on them. And some dresses with a tiger. And tanks. And more t-shirts. Then leopards. A cougar. What might have been a lynx. Catfaces.
These twenty catfaces were photographed in the wild at the Los Cerritos Forever 21. None of them were harmed. But they are puzzling to me. It felt like a full 20% of the items for sale had some kind of catface on them.
It was as if every Forever 21 designer was told that if their product for back-to-school didn’t have catfaces, they would be killed.
TREND REPORT: MANDATORY CATFACE
I can picture a poor designer mussing their trendy haircut and crying, “Look, I didn’t want to make a catface sweater, but I have a family!”
Now, just coming from the Fuck Yeah Fest, a ten year event based in Los Angeles, the only city with so little self-awareness it would name something that, it’s evident that young women’s fashion is pretty homogeneous.
Forever 21, Urban Outfitters, and H&M all make several lines a season, and, due to fear and identical trend research, they tend to all look the same. Looking around the festival, you can see the options: short jean shorts, floral rompers, circle shirts, crop tops, short dresses with the waist between the waist and the armpit, and maxi dresses. That’s it. Those are the only things available. There wasn’t one pair of low-rise denim shorts. Not one, even though they were ubiquitous a few years ago.
A month ago when I went to So You Think You Can Dance, it was all dresses who were short in the front, and long in the back, schlong dresses that don’t look good on anyone. Also, lace and the color hot salmon. These things are gone now. It’s not that girls are scared of wearing last month’s clothes so much as the things they wear deteriorate by their next period.
Anyway, if you find yourself with the back-to-school crowd, they may look like a bit like a National Geographic special.