It’s A Hullabaloo!

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, photographed by Rick Rickman

On Thursday, I will be doing a show in Seattle with adorable SF comedy finalist Solomon Georgio, funny ukelelist Barbara Holm, lovable weirdo Derek Sheen and gracious host Rick Taylor at the Holiday Hullabaloo, a benefit for the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.  It’ll be a gay old time at the Jewelbox!  Tickets can be purchased here!

Postscript:  Oh, what a gay old time was had!    Money was raised, drinks were drunk, and I got to perform with drag artists and comics, and in general it was the best time ever. Sexy Jesus and Sexy Santa enjoy a duet- Kenny and James.

This amazing mural appeared in the green room.

Me and my favorite Pete had a great time.

A Performer’s Greatest Tool- Capacity for Rejection, or, The Seattle International Comedy Competition

I recently returned from testing out early from the Seattle International comedy competition.  Going in, I had a lot of goals about how far I would get and how the shows would go. 

In retrospect, one’s first contest should be treated like a first marathon- you just want to get through without shitting yourself.

One perspective-changing opportunity: The reason I thought I had a shot at semifinals was that I think I’m very funny.  What I failed to take into account is that every other person is very funny also.  I felt very lucky to be in such a group- even the people who never made it into the top five, even the guys who regularly were in the bottom five- they were all funny. 

I had heard horror stories about Seattle contest road gigs, about the hayseeds who voted for comics who mimed sex with barstools and pointed out that different socioeconomic and racial groups might dance and speak differently, throwing you into a lot of sturm and drang about art and expression and hackiness, but I really really liked everyone who I was with, and nary a barstool was molested. 

I met beautiful and hilarious Canadian Claire Brosseau and hung out with my old friends Derek Sheen and Travis , and made lotsa new friends.  I got in the top five twice, (once sharing the stage with Claire, which evidently never happens!) participated in a conspiracy hunt, and ran the light once.

In the end, my friend Auggie Smith won the 31st International Seattle Comedy Contest, making a name for himself as the first individual to win Seattle and SF in the same year.  Billy Wayne Davis came in second, and our very funny friend Dax Jordan took bronze, Eddie Pence was fourth, and I got to spend semifinals week at Harvey’s, performing for people who were eating nachos, so it’s like we all won.

* Claire Brosseau, Toronto (quit)
* Mike Drucker, Seattle (very successful writer)
* ‘Big Irish’ Jay Hollingsworth, Seattle (moved to LA, is very large)
* Virginia Jones, Portland (christ who knows)
* Dax Jordan, Portland (LA denizen, Dynasty Typewriter employee)
* Joe List, New York (doing very well! Apparently had vomit on him when we met at this comp)
* Dave Mcdonough, Boston (quit)
* Sean Ottey, Seattle (quit)
* Eddie Pence, Los Angeles (nerd comedy in LA)
* Toby Roberts, Tacoma (oh god who was that)
* Jake Sharon, Denver (Ran into him at Laughlin a few years ago)
* Derek Sheen, Seattle (just opened for Patton Oswalt in Seattle)
* Brent Smalley, Indianapolis (oh Brent!)
* Auggie Smith, Portland (Moved to LA, continues to rule the road, work on Big Sky festival)
* Travis Vogt, Seattle (he’s there!)
* Kortney Shane Williams, Tampa (doing comedy in Seattle, which I am not!)

Radio Schmuck

One Of Many Reasons Radio Shack Is Gone

Last Tuesday, Portland temperatures hit 18 degrees Fahrenheit.  My GPS mount froze and broke in two.  How many other tiny tragedies are overlooked in the Snowpocalypse?  I went to Radio Shack and was presented with two equally crappy-looking aftermarket options to mount my GPS. Blindly, I picked one and left.
The next day I returned it, for the simple reason that the mount never stayed up on my windshield, not even for a whole minute.  I was very proud that I had remembered to bring my receipt, and waved it around in a vague attempt to impress the employees.  I then enjoyed the following conversation.

EMPLOYEE: And what’s wrong with it?

ME: It never held my GPS up, not even for a minute.
EMPLOYEE: And did you bring the packaging?
ME: Oh, sorry, no I didn’t.  It was all hacked up, anyway.

EMPLOYEE: Well, but now we can’t re-sell it.
ME: Well, that’s good.  It didn’t work, not even for a minute.
EMPLOYEE:  I’ll have to check with my manager.
ME: Well, I think that’s do-able.  He’s the only other person in the store.
And now, part two:

MANAGER: So, I understand you want to return this accessory-what’s wrong with it?

ME: It never held my GPS up, not even for a minute.
MANAGER: And did you bring the packaging?
ME: Oh, sorry, no I didn’t.  It was all hacked up, anyway.

MANAGER: Well, but now we can’t re-sell it.
ME: Well, that’s good.  It didn’t work, not even for a fucking minute.
MANAGER: Well, we’re supposed to repackage and re-sell returns.
ME: Okay.  Sorry.  (Stands in silence)
MANAGER and EMPLOYEE talk together.

Exciting Finale

Eventually, I am allowed to go pick out the other crappy-looking GPS mount system.  I notice that my first, gooseneck model has two taped-up returns on the wall that didn’t fucking work.  I guess they’re just looking for people to buy them who either lose their receipts, or don’t really need to look at a GPS, or those who die suddenly in strange lands, holding a non-working GPS mount.
The new mount works fine, though.  But I still have the receipt and the packaging, and also I have cleaned and packed up the outfit I wore to the store that day, just in case I need that, too.

Battling Queen Dorises!

The time has come to talk of many things, but mostly about what we’re being for Halloween.

I have, in my possession, an awesome wig made by 2guysfromvegas, and I’m watching and rewatching the amazing film Forbidden Zone. Her name is Queen Doris, and she’s more drag queen than woman, or else she’s more woman than this universe can handle.

Of course, the thing that I love about the internet is the opportunity to meet up with like minds-I said something on Youtube about planning to dress as Doris, and I met the lovely Asunder33, who shared this photo with me:

Now, she is going for the colorized and remastered Doris, which is awesome, and in later shots it’s evident that her eye makeup glows in black light, which is also superb.  I went for the black-and-white Doris, because that’s what we had on our many-times-watched VHS copy of the film.

Postscript: This costume took on a bittersweet quality when we lost Susan Tyrrell in 2012, who had become my Facebook friend when the lovely Meggie Nicole sent her my Halloween photo. 

Seattle International Comedy Competition 2010

After the  madness of Halloween is over, I will be heading to Seattle for my first real public shot at humiliation in the form of the 31st Seattle Comedy Competition.  

I’ll be competing with friends, peers, rockstars, heroes, a pretty Canadian, and, in a greater way, against myself.   If I find myself with any amazing wisdom gleaned from the ego beatings, I will post it here.  Remember, it’s an honor just to be nominated!

Right Hand Red!

Come see the show that everyone’s talking about, RIGHT HAND RED! At least I think they’re talking about it!    It’s fast, it’s funny, it’s a little weird, I’m in it!