Scratch PDX!

Posted Posted in comedy, portland

I am performing in a mixed media show called Scratch PDX on Saturday, April 18th at the Hipbone Studio at 9PM- co-hosted by one Jesse Alison! I am interested in trying a weirder set to an audience not specifically expecting comedy- it looks to be a varied evening of performers-

“Spent” an excerpt by Rick Huddle

“The Sky’s the Limit” Michael Philips

Virginia Jones

“Ritual of the Serpent God” Deviant Dance

“TISA” Teatro Neurotica

“Kallyope Yell” Tony Greiner

“Undine” an exerpt by Faith Helma

with music by Ben Kulp

hosted by Don Kern with special guest Jesse Alison! The fun starts at 9 PM at the Hipbone studio at 1847 E. Burnside- eight dollar cover includes all the arty pretension you can eat! Wear a beret! Have fun with it!

Postscript: OK, it’s really a fun show. Here’s my set and what the audience thought of it: here.

The Divine David

Posted Posted in comedy, Gothic

The Divine David teaches a makeup masterclass

Sometimes, I lie awake at night and worry that enough people have not enjoyed The Divine David, a trans terrorist/avant garde artiste/tastemaker created and performed by Manchester artist David Hoyle.

How To Comedy

Posted Posted in comedy

Well, I’m about to be three years old- This May 25th is my third anniversary in stand-up. That’s not much in the world of comedy, but it’s as much as I’ve ever done. It has gotten me many things, such as being recognized at Montage and at Chaos Cafe. I was having a few sincere thoughts about it, and would like to offer you, dear reader, some completely unsolicited advice.
When I was new, I got laughs by accident. I got superstitious about it. The first time I had a good set at an open mike, I never wanted to go back and “ruin” it. A lot of new comics dwell on and overanalyze their first set, their second set, and it doesn’t really matter. They say, I bombed, or I killed, and neither one is true. You’re not good enough to bomb. You got lucky.

The first time a person gets up to do stand-up, it might be interesting, it might be funny, it might be good writing- but it won’t be great stand-up. There are too many microskills that need to be formed. You just have to do it again and again. The good news is that taking a microphone out of a stand 100 times makes you pretty slick at it.

Truly bombing is a gift- if you can survive a room hating you thoroughly, then you know that nothing can be worse than that, and you can get past it.
Where I am now: I can get laughs pretty consistently. It’s still like a magic trick, I don’t know quite how it’s done but I can do it.


Here is some of the best of the many pieces of advice that more skilled comics have given to me:
Don’t disengage between jokes, keep eye contact with the audience.
The longer the setup, the bigger the laugh needs to be at the punch.
Write a hundred jokes on a premise and cut down to what works.
Try to match the crowd’s energy. Don’t scream at a mellow room, or whisper to an excited, party room.
And my advice is: The first mistake every comic makes is: Talking too fast. Slow down.
The second mistake is different for everyone. You’ll figure it out.

What I’ve Been Doing Lately

Posted Posted in comedy

Last Wednesday, I took a trip to the beautiful reservation in Warm Springs, OR and the Kahneeta Casino and Resort. It was so quiet, and so beautiful. I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but it felt good to be out of the rain.

Susan Rice and I enjoyed playing the Appaloosa Lounge, where they were surprised that two women could both be funny.

Then was Headers, the bar that Dax Jordan and I performed at in Selma, OR on Saturday night. At Pop 1800, it doesn’t have a Taco Bell but it does have something called the Raw Claw, contents pictured below.

My favorite was a DVD called “Who’s The Bitch Now?” It serves as the town’s main gambling opportunity and adult bookstore. I got a tip jar, I got a shot at the Raw Claw, I got a lot of attention from a drunk cryptozoologist who claimed to be a former member of Arizona metal band a Surgical Steel. Good times.

Duck, Duck, Annihilation

Posted Posted in animals, comedy, Gothic


Well, it’s not the first time a duck designed for suicide has made its way around the internet.

Well, maybe it is. It does remind me of one of my friend John Freeman’s dozens of bands, Duck, Duck, Annihilation- see a loving write-up of the Freeman phenomenon on Direct Hit Records, here.

As to complaints that the duck is too well-built to actually electrocute, (this is one product that never considered hiring a customer service staff) please consider either of the two easy backup options, given that you could hang yourself with the cord OR in dire straits, eat the duck, which if you are any kind of celebrity or known entity will result in a six month period where the phrase ‘eat a duck’ will be hipster shorthand for any suicide, which will confuse the heck out of people in food sales.

Eventually, it will end up in Cockney rhyming slang as a euphemism for sexual intercourse, which everything is.