Bigger! Better! Bloodier!
They say that the rougher the dress rehearsal, the better the first show will be- in our last dress rehearsal, this young man, the lead in the play, broke his nose on a prop car:
During the first show, an audience member joined us onstage to take her clothes off until her boyfriend and Jordaina helped her offstage, him murmuring “You’re not in the show. You’re not in it.” During the second show, another audience member came onstage during the same scene. I guess it just…moves people? The best backstage line was dancer Kimberly’s immortal remark as she was about to go onstage, “Omigod, I got no panties on!”
Second run: (on tiny leather panties) “Are these too slutty for the show?” and the answer is: NOTHING is too slutty for this show.
For dress rehearsal as Cindy, I was told my dress was “not whorish enough”, which is the first time that’s ever happened.
All in all, we sold out three shows, entertained members of the Dandy Warhols, Karaoke from Hell, and other local luminaries, broke a prop bed, passed a headcold to each other, and generated 5000 watts of ROCK. I’m already looking forward to the reprise in August!
Portland’s first Heavy Metal Musical, Chariots of Rubber, written by
Jeffrey Wonderful and “Private” Mike Albano. It has been in
rehearsals for over a year, and finally, this strange fruit ripens!
It is Grease meets Hedwig meets West Side Story meets Rocky Horror
meets Julian Sand’s Warlock, and it is fantastic.I play Gas Station Attendant #2, a drug-addled lesbian, in a a heavy
metal musical about love, loss and demolition derby in Coos Bay, OR.
I will be singing, dancing, “acting”, and wearing a wig. There will be smoke, cars, carnage, singing, a rock band, talking nipples, sign
language, and blood. Also, you know how colorblind casting was a big deal in modern theatre? This show has genderblind casting!
The premiere is Thursday, July 23rd at 10:15 at Theater, Theatre on
Belmont for $15.
Chariots of Rubber
will run through the weekend (Friday the 24th and Saturday the 25th) and again Aug 13/14/15. You can cash-check-paypal them! Write me
write me write me at firstname.lastname@example.org! 100 people a night will witness this phenomenon,
and everyone else will just have to gnash their little teeth!
Mercury reviews it here as “subtlety-free theatre.” Har!
www.chariotsofrubber.com is up, courtesy of the wonderful Pete Ellison.
SECRET EXTRA POSTSCRIPT:
They say that the rougher the dress rehearsal, the better the show- well, we had a lead actor break his NOSE. Beat that! We might hypmotize ’em!
At long last, after much gnashing of teeth and clashing of swords, the opening of Jeffrey Wonderful’s CHARIOTS OF RUBBER has been announced.
It debuts in the Arena stage at Theatre Theater on Belmont on one month from today on Thursday, July 23rd!
I’m dancing in it, and have also recently gotten a speaking role- watch me tear up the stage as Gas Station Attendant #2!
This is the ultimate Portland Rock & Roll Musical. The stories of fate and failure in Coos County demolition derby, featuring an original soundtrack, a live band, blood, cross-dressing cops, supernatural sisters, and in general comporting itself like Grease meets Hedwig and the Angry Inch! CHARIOTS OF RUBBER is an all original, heavy-metal musical about friendship, love and loss at the demolition derby.
Written and directed by Jeffrey Wonderful, Music By Private Mike Albano performed by Jedediah Aaker, Keith Bornzin,Dylan Skiles.
Set to an ALL ORIGINAL score, Chariots of Rubber is performed by Portland rockers.
Jen Shepard as the hooker Cindy “Portland’s Erotic Pleaser”
Donny Don’t debuts as Crash
Seantos McDonald as Bow Tuck
Jarud Meyer as Tommy
and Rob Taylor as Tommy’s Mother.
The posters and flyers have been printed for the show, and we have been generating tags to add to the info-
*Dancing so hot, our choreographer’s pregnant!
*What if I get a b*ner?
*It’s a little car! You can stand on it!
Up and Coming: Halloween! I love Halloween. It’s like Christmas to me. Our costumes are ready. We are Lene Lovich and Nina Hagen!)
Eugene! I am excited about the all-girl laugh-fest coming up, and looking forward to meeting more funny ladies!
Chariots of Rubber! I have recently been cast in Jeffrey Wonderful’s musical about Demolition Derby, love, and Cindy, the Erotic Pleaser as a Backup Dancer, so I can add that distinction to my resume! I have NO idea when or where it will premiere, but it is going to be FANTASTIC. They told me I could tap dance in it. Equal parts Hedwig, Rocky Horror, Grease, and giant, talking nipples.
I leave you with a Fact-of-The Day quote from John Hodgman’s very funny new book, More Information Than You Require:
HALLOWE’EN: Originally called Samhain, this is the traditional Pagan-American holiday when we ask our children to consider the fragility of life by dressing them in darkly colored costumes and vision-impairing masks and encouraging them to walk around in the road.
Recently Tivo recorded a film for me based on my interest in art stuff and Robert Downey, Jr., and so I watched a movie I’d never heard of called “Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus. The main message that I took away from this film, loosely based on a book based on a rumor based on the photographer’s life, is
Q: How can one discover one’s own artistic voice and vision?
A. To truly discover oneself as an artist, but one must first befriend, fully shave, make love to, bear witness to the suicide of, and then wear a coat made from the hair of, a dog-faced boy.
Q. Do you mean that metaphorically? Like, broaden your horizons?
A. No. I mean it literally. Go find yourself a dog-faced boy.
It was weird, and coming from me that’s saying a lot.