How Do You Know Virginia Jones?

Posted Posted in comedy, Virginia Jones

   How do you know comedian Virginia Jones?  You met her at karaoke, or at goth night, or at goth karaoke.  You know her as a female comedian.  Perhaps you went on a couple dates but you didn’t like dating someone smarter than you, or else she was too fat.  Maybe you used to be married to her, and you’ve been asked not to check her website anymore.  Possibly you feel like you know her because you’re also into goth stuff, music, funny essays , fashion, and comedy content.  Keep your eyes on www.badinia.com for articles on how to write a Tom Waits song, how to kiss girls and much, much more!

How To Make A PERFECT Guillermo Del Toro Film!

Posted Posted in art, film, goth
guillermo del toro horror goth funny

Let’s ?Make A ? Guillermo Del Toro Film!

What will we need?

Smoke wafting through air

Blood wafting through water

Blood wafting through air (ghost blood)

Insects

Ron Perlman

Cisterns

Specialized Metal Containers

Tools with Extensive Wear and Aging

A Fish Guy Who Loves Eggs

Mechanical toys

Intricate Clockwork

Catholic stuff

Gold/Amber colors

Stilts! stilts! stilts!

Robots Made of Clockwork Steampunk Shit

Children/Orphans/Dead Parents

Spanish Civil War

Vampires that are close to being vampires but are not really vampires, like slant rhyme vampires

Hand and Face wounds

Ghosts oh god so many beautiful ghosts

Doug Jones in a rubber suit

Eyes in places they should not be

A Jarred fetus, other mutter museum stuff

A character who was born different, with special abilities, but who would trade it all to be “normal”

Elaborate carved stone labyrinths, waiting for circuits to be connected with blood

How To Write A PERFECT Tom Waits Song!

Posted 1 CommentPosted in comedy, music
photo of tom waits let's write a tom waits song

Let’s Write A Tom Waits Song. We’ll need:

Vintage Cars

Gunshots

Diamonds

Ballroom Dances

A beautiful woman with a sad past

A hundred year old bartender who knows all the stories from the old neighborhood

Hobo Talk

A Battered Suitcase

A Toy Piano

Horny Carnies

A Jukebox

A Sailor, Or A Bunch Of Them

An All-Night Diner

A Train

A Circus 20 Years Past Its Prime

and now we’re done!

If you ever wonder what a baby thinks of Tom Waits, you can check it out here.

We can also write a Nick Cave song, a Mountain Goats Song, or a Robyn Hitchcock song

It’s A Party On Paragon!

Posted Posted in comedy, Covid-19, Virginia Jones
photograph of virginia jones by andrew max levy gogoparagon.co
Photo by Andrew Max Levy

It’s a party on Paragon! In these uncertain times, a service that sets up comics with interactive online shows has sprung up and offered me a spot, so here’s my profile on Paragon. They offer comedy sets, DJ dance parties, virtual drag shows, and a guy who’ll show you how to make pickles. It’s the brave new world of comedy! It’s a party on Paragon!

Customer Reviews:
We fell into Virginia’s hilarious spell immediately. Recommend her to anyone!

“The best 45 minutes my house arrested team has had on a google meet. Virginia, you are hilarious! My stomach is in pain from laughing.” 

The Getty Challenge: Portrait Of Madame X

Posted Posted in art, costume, Covid-19, fashion, goth
virginia jones as John Singer Sargent's Portrait of Madame X

At the start of the Covid-19 lockdown, the Getty museum’s twitter account challenged people to recreate works of art at home, with things they had. I did John Singer Sargent’s Portrait of Madame X.

Someone commented that I referenced the original strapless version, which was so sexy that the artist had to add straps. It wasn’t a reference so much as my gown is made of a swimsuit and a bedsheet.

Trivia fact: The original model and I are both named Virginia.