Holiday Road

Spot the fake!

At this point, I have to admit that some of these posts are just for my mother.

Because I am a married caucasian and didn't need to go to Costco this weekend, we went to Ikea, where they have FINALLY mass-produced an English bulldog. Our real bulldogs can't tell the difference, except for he's less farty.

If I had told anyone that I was doing a showcase at Glo Loca on Friday, that has been cancelled due to the ridiculously small setback that the bar no longer exists.

I hope everyone had an enjoyable fourth of July (also Hazel Jones' birthday!) and did not blow off any fingers.

Meet the war hero, General Anesthesia

I have been feeling a little under the weather, because a strange man drugged me and cut my third molars out. My head is swollen like a casaba melon and I have been living on the same soft, pliable foods that the elderly enjoy. Getting my wisdom teeth out at my advanced age makes me want to hang an explanatory sign around my neck reading "Poppa Didn't Love Me."

Also, Chico announced that he would prefer to go to Detroit with his father this week than to hang around with me.

Bulldog Hospital!

Spouse noticed some labored breathing in wee Hazel last week, and he took her to Dove Lewis to have her checked out and she was diagnosed with puppy Pneumonia! She had to spend the night in a lil'puppy oxygen tent, and game back home with a piteously shaved foreleg from where her IV was installed.

When Chico was asked if he missed his sister/roommate, he commented that it was nice having the lion's share of the bed to himself, and remained fairly unsympathetic. When he had to accompany her to the vet's to get her checkup, he was visibly shaken and kept repeating "They took my balls...my balls...they took them."

She's back home now, feeling better and being spoiled with mashed potatoes by her dad. The kind folks at Dove Lewis have comped her stay in exchange for a good word on this internationally read blog. I have heard tell that Donna Karan has her chocolate Labs on a plane to Portland for a checkup already. This is of course a lie, but it is a lie that makes me feel better about my little girl's healthcare costs.