It's A Moral Conundrum

I spent last weekend doing comedy at Mak's Old City Hall in Coos Bay, OR, (every Friday and Saturday at 8, new comics every weekend!) and on a beautiful Saturday morning I awoke, refreshed by the sound of highway traffic that had filled my motel room for 8 hours, and took a little jog around the neighborhood. I found a picturesque park with a pond in it behind 10th street, and then I met a goose. He was hissing at the sky, and I thought, something in the sky has pissed this goose off, because I am not as bright as I could be in the morning. Then I realized that I had pissed the goose off. I started running from the goose, at first lightheartedly, and then sincerely and with a certain amount of panic. I told him I had no interest in his eggs, but he kept after me, hissing and snapping, for a good 15 yards. This brings me to my conundrum: as a vegan, and in the interest of self-defense only, is it still within my rights to punch out a goose?

Postscript: LCS showcase finalist Andy Haynes advised that the best route might in fact be be to put a boot in a goose's caboose- again, humanely and in self-defense only.

Grand Theft Pizza Party, Wednesday at Ash Street!

This month's installment of Grand Theft Pizza Party features the comedy of Seattle's Andy Haynes , Travis Jones, and The Portland Oregon Them!, featuring the former cast of the Famous Mysterious Actor Show. They'll also be screening a number of video shorts, including the world premiere of the latest ad from Funtown Auto and Bobby Hacker's contribution to Portland's 12-hour film race. Stick around afterwards for the brilliantly bizarre music of Canoofle! Grand Theft Pizza Party! Wednesday, June 20th! Ash St. Saloon, 225 SW Ash St.! 9:30pm ! $5 ! The Portland Oregon Them! Andy Haynes! Travis Jones! Canoofle! Videos! Special Guests! See you there!