The Portland Mercury makes me feel special!

They picked tonight's show at the Egyptian Room as the "thing" to do tonight. Well, thank you!

Put some LAFFS in your HOLE! This Wednesday!

SEATTLE! Look out. For Christ's sake. I'm gonna be up there. Really soon. There's very little you can do to avoid it, except, I guess, not show up at Chop Suey on Madison at 9. But what fun would that be? I'm traveling with the always-odd Christian Van Wade. You can buy tickets here!

Article from The Comedians Magazine

Well, I'm honored to be included in New York's finest all-comedy magazine, The Comedians. I'm in the same issue as Larry Miller! I learned a lot of interesting things, such as, I'm 30. Just like Chelsea Handler! It's cute.

Virginia Jones

written by Kelly Mackin

Standing in front of the crowd. Making them laugh. Having all of their attention on you. When a comic hits the road, it’s where he or she thrives, where they are most comfortable. Then there are shows, like the one Portland, Oregon comic Virginia Jones experienced her rookie year in nearby Medford:

“In this ‘venue’,” she recalls, “there was a microphone stand on stage. Behind it was this shiny brass pole! As I walked on, I asked, ‘Is this what I think it is?’ A second later, a guy in the back yells, ‘Yes! That’s where the pretty girls dance!’ I had to call my mom. I asked her, ‘Mom, am I pretty?’ She said to me, ‘Honey, you are unique.’”

Some people become famous because they want fame more than anything else in the world. They reform and repackage themselves into whatever idea they think will make them appealing. They sell whatever parts of themselves people will purchase, like a personal pawnshop where everything’s for sale.

Not Virginia Jones.

A transplanted Texan who’s found a home here in the Pacific Northwest, Jones is a 30 year-old comic who’s now three years past her first open mic. In her act, she exhibits cares in what she says, taking her time to relate an idea. A famous professor once said that speakers of English get anxious after five seconds of silence. That’s just the rest note between the beats for Jones.

You can find her on YouTube where one of her segments features her dealing with an unlikely heckler at a show in Austin, her mother. We’ve all been to homecomings, but it’s rare when we have to good naturedly joke, as Virginia did, in front of a crowd, “Mother, I love you. But if you step on my punchline again I will punch you in the face.”

“Most people heckle because they think it will help,” says Virginia, “or because they want the attention. Hecklers don’t bother me very much and I think it’s a mistake to get upset with them. My mother heckled me simply because she didn’t realize that it was something she should not be doing. ”

According to her website, badinia.com, Virginia was the first runner-up in the Portland Amateur Comedy Contest in 2007, was a finalist in the 2008 Comedy Knockout, and is a biomass made mostly of carbon.

Seeing her live, you notice how she is tall, pretty, and has a lot of stage power. “The first time I saw her do comedy,” says comedian Jessa Reed, “was at a show we did together in 2008. She killed. She stood up against men with bad feet wearing sandals. It moved me. I was convinced that she was always trying out new material on me, but I come to find out she just really is that funny.”

It took several weeks to interest Virginia in an interview. She just didn’t seem interested. But at last, she told me about a show she was doing up in Washington. So I drove up The Five to a beer hall/ comedy club called Peter Pipers at an I-5 truckstop, about a third of the way to Seattle. It was an inauspicious location. But the town was well-lit and clean, much to my surprise.

During the course of the night, she showed she clearly loved being in the presence of other comics, finding acceptance and support. As Jessa noted, “Virginia appreciates the talent and doesn’t have to compete.”

As much as comics rate each other and audiences rate comics, comics rate audiences. Virginia was asked about her favorites.
“My favorite gig is the Women’s Comedy Festival in Eugene Oregon,” Jones says. “It’s just the most supportive audience. I pick up so much energy from that.”

“My least favorite comedy venues are goth clubs. I mean, they are way too cool to actually laugh.” She chuckles. “I once did a regular gig at a club and four goth friends showed up. The entire place was in tears and they just sat there, with their goth clothes and makeup. It’s just not part of the goth culture to laugh. That’s just the way they are!”

Over Lunch at Nell’s Café in Portland, she revealed herself as sensitive and clear headed, intense and sweet. I asked her about what fuels her interest in comedy. She said, “I was a blue state woman who grew up in a Red State: Texas. What more do you need
to know?”

“I used to have a Keep Abortion Legal sticker on the back of my car when I lived in Texas,” says Jones. “People used to try to peel them off, or deface them. They would rip it so that it said Keep Abo Lega. I’d just put another one back on there. Then one day, a truck on the road started bumping me from behind. I moved over and they kept doing it, even heading around a cul-de-sac. They were trying to run me off the road. They were trying to kill me. People in Texas are different. You say something, it gets transformed. They hear something different. You say, ‘feminist’ and they hear, ‘Lesbian serial killer. It’s just how they’re wired. I came to Portland and I said, ‘I feel like I found my people. I’m no longer the outsider.’”

To some, expressing an opposing point of view is a statement of rebellion. In Virginia’s case, it’s more a state a mind; useful in surprising a crowd that doesn’t know what to expect next. She’s married to experimental musician Thomas Jones, a decision her mother was against at the time. Virginia recalls with laughter and irony why that no longer bothers her. “They (her parents) were both divorced. Really divorced.”

Jessa Reed adds, “Virginia says horrible things about Paris Hilton that make me laugh. But when every other woman comic in our age group is telling jokes about her kids, Virginia will give you twenty minutes on why babies are not where it’s at. And it’s hilarious.”

“Sure. I don’t like babies,” says Jones. “People go gaga for babies. That’s fine. But that’s not me. I don’t want to be a mother. I’m fine with that. I wanted my husband to do the surgery, and he didn’t want to. Besides, it might make him sleep around.” She smiles.

Virginia strikes one as aloof at first. But that’s an essential part of what makes her an interesting comic. Her timing is unique. It’s legato, a slow waltz, like cool jazz. If you recognize the humor in jazz, then you know what I mean. She also has a strong variation in dynamic range, going from whispers to loud; all for effect. She usually takes the time to breathe while smiling at you like she knows she has a gift for the audience. If you listen to a lot of comedy, you think, “this is different. It’s compelling.”

One of Jones’ keynote riffs involves her mom’s dating and how mothers and daughters relate as grown-ups. “My Mom has started dating on seniorsmeet.com, which is THE place to go if you want to date my mother. She’s an attractive lady in her 60’s. She’s got 12 cats. She likes Motown. She’s a Baptist and lives in a small town in Texas. Contact me. I’ll get you in touch with her. [Laughter.] She was writing me all the time about this guy that she met up there, ‘He’s so hot. He’s so hot!’ So she sent me a picture of him. Uh, hmmm. We are operating with very different definitions of hot!”

Kelly Mackin is a writer from Portland.

For more on Virginia, visit www.badinia.com

See the whole shebang here.

Your Love is a Supernatural Thing

Listen, I know you like me, and I like you, and you wish we could be together all the time, but we can't. This is a hard fact of life. You've got your job and your family, and sometimes I'm in telling jokes in a casino or a bar & grill. Enter the good people at the Coghlan mint: artist 2nd Coming made this picture of me, her favorite Portland stand-up, and has made it available for the general public at Etsy.com.

Keep Portland Funny at Kelly's Olympian Wednesday!

Herr Mutter

For the enjoyment of my family and comedy bookers, here's some footage of me at Harvey's.

Fourth Time's The Charm!

The Pacific Northwest Women's Comedy Festival (formerly the Oregon Women's Comedy Festival) is approaching its fourth and most awesome year yet. Featuring both established comics and newcomers, this year's show is certain to be more fun than a barrel of all-girl monkeys devoted to nothing but having fun!

The festival will be held this year at the Wildish Theater, Springfield, OR. Doors open at 6:30 for wine & beer, show starts at 7. Tickets are $25 and are available at accidentalcomic.com or by calling 541-688-1674.

This year's line-up:

Melody Dodd
Patrice Dotson
Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant (accidentalcomic.com)
Virginia Jones (www.badinia.com)
Sharon Lacey (sharonlaceycomedy.com)
Lisa Myers (bitchcomic.com)
Rylee Newton (myspace.com/ryleenewton)
JeanAnn O'Brien (hahasisterhood.com)
Emily Richman
Whitney Streed (myspace.com/ca_femme_emancipee)
Sarah Ulerick

Headliner:
Susan Rice ~ myspace.com/sricearoni

Adventures in Casinos- Spirit Mountain Edition!

I told a secret to a wolf at Spirit Mountain Casino.

Last night I did a comedy show with one of my favorite ladies, Susan Rice, at Spirit Mountain Casino in Grand Ronde. It was one of those shows where we performed to people who did not know they were being performed to, and who mostly just wanted to eat oversized desserts and then go put their money in plasma-screen slot machines. However, we soldiered on, had fun, and tried to maintain a PG-13 rating.

I got up this morning to return to civilization, using my food voucher to secure a soy latte for the road. It is never clearer that I am far from home than when I visit a casino coffee shop.
I was sold a bagel, which was wearing a sticker proudly proclaiming that it was fresh on Tuesday. I decided not to eat it, but it functioned very well in the car as kind of a cinnamon-raisin air freshener. They do have soy milk- score!- but the barista asks if I have a food allergy, or if I "make a choice" not to drink milk. I explain to her that I am a total pain-in-the-ass vegan. People really seem to prefer when it's not a moral stance- if I just had a lactose allergy, it wouldn't be a judgement on her life.
I also have a personalized coffee cup with all my favorite stuff on it that I got at Star*ucks, and carry from town to town like a security blanket- if you want the same one, you can download the art here, or use it as a template for your own amazing tumbler! As I handed it over, the very sincere barista asked if I would mind if she made my coffee in a paper cup, like regular, and then poured it into my travel cup. I pointed out to her sweetly, that really doesn't save a tree, does it? And she said, oooooh. I guess not!

Oh pinko Portland! How I love thee!

Nothing can prepare you for casino life. Wolf shirts are worn without irony. People smoke cigarettes INSIDE. You think you can take it? I'd like to see you try!

Busy Times in Jonestown!

TONIGHT: I am telling funny stories off-the-cuff at Curious Comedy Theater, which will then be used as fodder for an improv troupe-, for an ungodly mash-up of comedy action-I have never done anything like this before, but I think it’ll be fun-

Mainstage Show (w/special guest Virginia Jones)

Fri, Jul 10, 2009 8:00 PM

5225 NE Martin Luther King Blvd

$12 ($10 seniors/students)

Get ready for a mix of short form improv, long form improv, sketch comedy, stand up, and baby juggling.* Doors open at 7:30PM.

Virginia Jones was born and raised all over Texas, wherever the circus staked its tents. Her parents, being simple, hard-working carny folk, did not give her enough attention, so eventually she became a comedian. She was a finalist in Portland’s 2007 Amateur Comedy Competition, the Portland Mercury’s PIZZAZZ talent show, and in Portland’s Comedy Knockout. She will appear in Portland's first heavy metal musical, Chariots of Rubber, opening July 23rd at Theater Theatre. Her mother is proud of her.

FRIDAY, July 17:

I will be slinging jokes at the Bagdad, with host Tristian Spillman- cover is $5 and the show starts at 10! Mark your calendar and start your engines!

CHARIOTS OF RUBBER PREMIERS JULY 23rd AT THEATER THEATRE! Pre-buy tickets from me to avoid disappointment- The Arena Theater only seats 100! Write me at badinia@badinia.com to reserve your tickets!

Chubber! Now in Poster Form!

Family Time

I was so excited to do stand-up in Austin, TX with my mother and sister in attendance. That feeling cooled as soon as I took the stage and every thought in my mother's head fell out of her mouth. Sometimes in life, you get heckled- but rarely by someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally.

And don't worry, I am throwing that dress away. I thought it looked cool and breezy and casual, but I look like a big silver building.

LAFF Comedy Festival!

Friends and family- I am performing in Austin, TX at the LAFF festival on May 7th- it stands for Ladies Are Funny Festival, but I keep thinking it's Ladies Are Fucking Funny- Tickets are now on sale! Go here for more information!

Charity Event for Blanchet House at Harvey's, March 25th!

I know that these economic times are hard for everybody, but sometimes it's those at the bottom that get hit the hardest- I have been invited to work a charity event for the Blanchet House, located on Glisan, which serves 1200 meals a day to those homeless or in need. This is a one-night, one show event at Portland's biggest all-comedy club, Harvey's, with Ron Osborne- Winner of the prestigious Seattle International Comedy Competition, Ron has appeared in over 100 TV commercials, and worked with stars like Drew Carey, Robin Williams, Sam Kinison and Ron White. The most impressive thing about Ron to me, apart from that he's very funny, is that he's the owner/operator of the Trunk Monkey.

Tickets are $15 with free shipping- group discounts available. I can mail you your tickets bought before March 22nd, after that they will be at Will Call. Please press the button below to get your tickets! Big Show Tomorrow!

Press!

I'm starting this page for to keep my press clippin's!

New York's Digital City Blog article here.

The Comedians Magazine article here.

Sons and Daughters, C.C. Slaughter's

If you couldn't join me Friday night, here's what happened. A good time was had by most! Bolivia says she'll have us back soon!

Laughing in the Face of Censorship

I wasn't really censored, I knew when Comcast taped this set that they wanted a PG set to put on cable, and I thought I gave them one, but they bleeped me for "Titty". I did not get bleeped for "breast." Well, I did my best. Thanks to them for putting the camera in the corner and telling me to play to the audience, I love my clownish profile. See it on Youtube before it's on Comcast on Demand!