Baby Wants Pole
posted by Badinia at 12:33 PM
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Thursday, September 03, 2009
This is Virginia Jones's page. Virginia Jones the comic. She's a biomass. Mostly carbon. It is about her interests, including stand-up comedy, the Mighty Boosh, obscure music stuff, and French Bulldogs. Virginia Jones was born and raised all over Texas, basically wherever the circus staked its tents. She has worked as a boxing instructor, a swing dance teacher, a waitress, a DJ, a designer of country and western apparel, and also was the only vegetarian assistant manager Jack-In-The-Box ever had. She holds a certificate for two years perfect attendance at J.C. Penney, and she can probably find it to show to you. She has worked for the top two major sportswear companies but is still not clear on the rules of American Football. She likes dancing, playing guitar badly, creating increasingly obscure Halloween costumes, and acting as a comedian and freelance subversive. She was first runner-up in the Portland Amateur Comedy Contest in 2007 and competed in the 2007 Portland Mercury PIZZAZZ talent show, and was a finalist in 2008's Comedy Knockout. She's funnier than John Belushi, Gilda Radner and Bill Hicks put together. She's funnier than all dead people. You can write her at badinia@badinia.com.
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Baby Wants Pole
It's fricking honest, is what it is. A cheerful pole dancer is the only female role model America really wants. That's why Miley Cyrus is on a pole. That's why Britney was on one when she was 18 and one second. We might be living through a third consecutive Republican White House if Sarah Palin had just dropped the facade and climbed a pole. These things don't come from nowhere and marketing doesn't lie. Feminism has fallen down gone boom and we all need to pick it the f*ck up again.
For one second, think about whether you, as a person with lady parts, have ever said "It's fun to go to the strip club an' get attention from the dancers!", or said "Those Suicide Girls seem pretty self-actualized, because having tattoos means you're your own person!" and realize that you might be part of the problem. Being comfortable with your own body and sexuality has gotten confused with being p*rn-positive and chauvinist-friendly to an uncomfortable degree. I'm not talking about suppressing freedom of expression, and I'm not saying you shouldn't do exactly what pleases you- I'm just saying, if you don't like the society we're living in, own your part in creating it.
Hey! Serious for a second! That was weird, huh.