Robots in Disguise/Lasers in Your Eyes

Lasik: It was weird. They offered me my choice of a stuffed leopard and Spongebob Squarepants to hold during surgery. My first impulse was: I'm an adult and I don't need a comfort animal. However, once they strapped me down and taped my eyes open, I asked where the leopard had gotten to. It's gonna be a dark, dark day before I ask for Spongebob. When the lasers started, I could smell my eyemeats cooking, so I'm pretty sure it's not vegan. I have had plugs put into my tear ducts, so every time I put in eyedrops I weep like I'm watching Babe, The Gallant Pig.
An interesting side effect: several people have asked me if I will have my prescription glasses remade with clear lenses so that I can look the same after surgery, and I have to point out to them that I think that the point of having the surgery is so I don't have to wear glasses. That's kind of the effect I am going for.
I am rocking 20/20 vision today. I am on an intravenous supply of eyedrops. I am not allowed to do anything that involves possibly getting punched in the face. If you see me, please try to avoid that impulse.