Sleepytime Gorilla Museum

Chico Jones sacks out after a party for our dear friend Pete Ellison, who is leaving us for fancy San Francisco. No-one was less surprised than I to learn that Chico's head has the same dimensions as a regulation-sized child's noggin, and he can easily rock a dinosaur party hat. Ain't no party like a French Bulldog party, because it really does wind down around one AM and everyone can go to bed, full of corn chips and belly rubs.

A Moving Plea

This is the time of year when my dogs most personally resent the "lifestyle choices" that spouse and I have made. They say, yes, meat is murder, but surely turkeys are only manslaughter. They see the Thanksgiving grocery store commercials on the television and smell giblet gravy and turn up their flat, leathery noses at Tofurky. If you and your family have any extra table scraps for these spoiled, fat, farting bastards, please mail them to our house in a greaseproof envelope so they will shut up.

Time-Travel Shocker

A fantastic individual has passed me this blog of antique photographs: imagine my surprise to learn that my own Chico is 92 years old!

That's 644 in dog years!

No wonder he doesn't like kids in his yard.

Meet the war hero, General Anesthesia

I have been feeling a little under the weather, because a strange man drugged me and cut my third molars out. My head is swollen like a casaba melon and I have been living on the same soft, pliable foods that the elderly enjoy. Getting my wisdom teeth out at my advanced age makes me want to hang an explanatory sign around my neck reading "Poppa Didn't Love Me."

Also, Chico announced that he would prefer to go to Detroit with his father this week than to hang around with me.

Pleasure in the Park

I do not normally condone this kind of sexist, exploitative filmmaking, but since the male star is a personal friend and both participants are neutered, I feel the need to share this short film of his exploits. Loo is Hazel's cousin, although he looks a lot like Chico. Please do not show this film to impressionable young children. Jaded young children can watch with my permission. It was the 22nd most watched animal-themed film on Youtube yesterday, which is something like an Emmy.

My little superstar this weekend was our temporary ward, Xev, who is the same size and weight as a large baked potato. If she looks a little evil, it's not an accident.