portland Archives ⋆ Page 2 of 25 ⋆ Virginia Jones

Gothic American!

I’m so excited to announce the release of my first album on Itunes today!

http://itunes.apple.com/album/id1060203732?ls=1&app=itunes

You can also buy a lovely autographed CD from me with additional art from Pete Ellison!

http://virginiajones.bandcamp.com/album/gothic-american

If you’ve ever wondered what I think about Caitlyn Jenner, Bill Cosby, Michael Jackson, feminism, catfood, Hot Topic, Northern White Rhinos, Dallas, Texas, Youtube, or gay rights, they’re all here! This record was recorded at the Complex, and if you were there, maybe you can hear your laugh!

Buy it, rate it, share it, love it, send it to your Mom, and most of all, pay me money for it!

PRICING STRUCTURE

$7- you can have the record on Bandcamp! Right away!
$10- you can have the record on digital from Itunes, on CD, or both and if you buy a CD I’ll autograph it and I’ll think good things about you.
$30- you get the record and you can buy me lunch
$40- you get the record and I’ll buy you lunch
$50- you get the record, and you can tell people you’re my friend, both on social media and in life.
$60- you get the record, I’ll take you out singing karaoke and some of my social cachet could rub off on you!
$70- You get the record and I’ll lend you something out of my closet and you can wear it and everything! There’s restrictions on this. Nothing with a European label. Don’t be ridiculous.
$100- Matching tattoos. Dealer’s choice. Something small.
$1000- We can get married. No paperwork, ceremony and photo session only. Also, an autographed CD to remember our special day with!

THANK YOU for your support, THANK YOU for buying my record, and THANK YOU for being you.

The West Coast Gets a Comedy SURPRISE!

promotional poster for surprise comedy tour virginia jones robert buscemi sofiya alexandra by josh abraham

SURPRISE! It’s a pop up show that changes locations and has a secret line up-
“Priceless Impromptu Moments”- LA Weekly

LA comics Robert Buscemi, Sofiya Alexandra and Virginia Jones are touring the West Coast with SURPRISE, LA’s finest mystery lineup, pop-up comedy show, starting in Santa Barbara, Humboldt, San Francisco, Eugene, Portland, and Vancouver, WA!

The Show:
http://www.welikela.com/best-free-comedy-shows-los-angeles/

Many thanks to the amazing Josh Abraham for the poster!

I Have A Dark Footish

My friend Simon Max Hill is a hard-working casting agent who has been casting Portlandia, Nike spots, and other important television from his seat in Portland,OR. He’s also an enthusiast of dancing, robots, and being a super weird generator of ideas at all times. On Tuesday, he announced that it was my responsibility to make a sock puppet music video, and by Thursday I had it up.

Here’s Dark Footish covering the Smiths. And to the nice lady who said “Oh, this is great, I hope there’s more!”- it currently has 22 views. I am the gothic Naomi Campbell of Youtube, I don’t get out of my coffin for fewer than 100 views.

Update: Four years later and we’re up to 140 views, only 410 fewer than a video of Bloodmeadow cracking her neck.

Meet Your New Website Designer!

My friend Pete Ellison made this great website for me one hajillion years ago, and he can make an even better one for you!

Yes, I Like Pina Coladas

The Pina Colada song- I did this song interpretation at the request of my friend Drew Groove! I don’t really like this song, but it’s kind of a time capsule.

All Jane, Meet All Dick Envy

The funniest thing about the poster isn’t its existence.

The funniest thing isn’t the claim that all penises will be severed on site.

The funniest thing is that the guy who made it doesn’t know it’s funny, and doesn’t want his last name to get out in case his girlfriend gets mad.

Postscript: OK, this guy didn’t wind up protesting because he was “frightened for his safety.” It was a little bit funny for us, looking around at sweet, cute, smart lady comics, people who wear cardigans and glasses, and feeling like we were in the middle of a gender war, but he also might have stayed home because it rained most nights. Who knows? Anyway, we never saw him.

All Jane got lots of great press from this threatened protest, from revered feminist institutions like Bust and Bitch, as well as the LA Weekly, Willamette Week, Portland Mercury, etc. However, with the added visibility, we also started getting spammed by transgender individuals who were offended at the cissexist name, All Jane, No Dick (meaning: assuming there are only two genders.) Never mind that the festival, its organizers, and its participants are trans friendly and supportive, never mind that one of the performers on a short roster is genderfluid comic Rye Silverman. A volunteer had to spend a whole day deleting negative comments from the public spaces about All Jane, and lots of comics and organizers were shame-faced to have raised ire from the trans community for our name, even though we know it’s “edgy” and funny. That’s what comedy is.

But I wasn’t ashamed. I was mad. In my unpopular opinion, whether it’s straight men telling women what to do or transgendered persons telling us what to do, it’s still men telling women what to do, and I’m sick of it. The MOST gender-specific trait for men is telling women what to do, how to be good girls and not offend anyone. We can make whatever we want, we can call it whatever we want, and we’ll do whatever the fuck we want. If we offend people? Good. Don’t come. Life is not about never being offended. Riot Grrl Comedy! Rant over! We had fun! And Sizzle Pie and Montage fed us and it was great!

Postscript: This year, the festival is just called “All Jane.”

All Jane No Dick Sizzle Reel

I’m back in Portland soon for the All Jane No Dick Festival, with some of the funniest women in comedy! Portlanders, come on out! My shows are listed on the right, as ever!