Anniversary!

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Today is the 12th anniversary of my first open mike, under the expert hosting of Kevin-Michael Moore at the Boiler Room in Portland-

Since then, I’ve been booked lots of places by lots of people, and I’m spending this year in gratitude of all the opportunities I’ve had in this business- from backroom bars to club sets to road rooms, you’ve all given me the spots that molded me and shaped my now inscrutable comic persona. I thank you and appreciate you. Some of these people are famous now. Some are dead. Some quit doing comedy. Some have even left Facebook. But I thank all of ’em. If you belong on this list, please DM me so I can make it even better! And thank you!

Jessa Reed
Susan Rice
Andy Wood
Mary Rae Kim
Rich Miller
Mike Jenkins
Adam Cozens
Nick Cobb
David Tribble
Chris Castles
Ian Karmel
Stacey Hallal
Vance Sanders
Jayk Gallagher
Aaron Ross
Mateen Stewart
Samantha Hale
Whitney Streed
Bryan Cook
Laura House
Josh Fisher
Joe Frice
Tuesday Thomas
Michelle March
Jamie Flam
Ryan Stalder
Nina Daniels
Jim Bruce
Ron Reid
Tamra Brown
Whitmer Alexander Thomas
Paige Wesley
Cameron Esposito
Christian Duguay
Jim Hamilton
Caitlin Gill
Joel Mandelkorn
Bobbie Oliver
Megan Koester
Luisa Diaz
Anna Seregina
Sam Varela
Kate Willett
Patrick Susmilch
Sofiya Alexandra
DNA
Barry Kolin
Dustin Lane
Kyle Harbert
Tristian Spillman
Vince Caldera
Peter Greyy
Gabby Tary
Alex Hooper
JoAnn Schinderle
Melissa McQueen
Jeremy Wheat
Amy Miller
Lydia Popovitch
Halie Wilson
Pat Wilson
Dax Jordan
Teddy Margas
Joe Quint
Tamra Brown
Pat Dean
Seth Lazear
Emmett Montgomery
Brendan K. O’Grady
Cornelius Peter
Nicole Blaine
Josh Filipowski
Danielle Perez
Madison Shepard
Susanna Lee Lucky-Deluxe
Ed Galvez
Christiana Morgenroth
Nicole Calasich
Jeff May
Joshy Fadem
Andy Iwancio
Brian Cox
Nadav Fleischer
Oscar Sagastume
Alexandra Karova
Jonathan Bradley Welch
Forrest Jackson
Solange Castro
Jeff Snyder
Ellory Smith
Linda Bailey Walsh
Jason Van Glass
Rebecca Leib
Mark Kikel
Mike “Wally” Walters
JC Coccoli
James Fritz
Robyn Morrison
Valerie Tosi
Greg Walloch
Josh Haness
Selene Luna
Todd Masterson
Andy Erickson
Amber Preston
Dwight Slade
Wesley Doloris
Leah Dubie
Bradley Edward
Steve Hernandez
Jim Coughlin
Ron Lynch
Matt Gubser
Andrew Holmgren
Vahé Hove
Molly Fite
Barbara Holm
Rick Taylor
Dave Rankin
Anna Hossnieh
Juan Canopii
Carmen Garrison
Leigh Anne Jasheway
Keith Wallan
Ron Osborne
Dylan Kasprzyk
Aaron Flett
Seth Milstein
Mykle Hansen
Junior High
Laura Hayden
Chuck Watkins
Dave Sirus
Lizzy Pilcher
Steve Benaquist
Paul Danke
Mike O’Connell
Ryan Conner
Jim Hegarty
Joe Manente
Brodie Kelly
Katie Low Strandberg
John Silver
Monique Madrid
David Sharp
Julia Prescott
Andy Sell
Jon Fox
Janine Brito
Sean Joyce
Tony Camin
Kevin Kataoka
Maria Shehata
Brianna Murphy
Chris Riggins
Sunah Bilsted
John Pridmore
Eman El Husseini
Brandie Posey
Olivia Haidar
Gabe Dinger
Phoebe Bottoms
Matt Lewis
Dave Child
Aubrey Jacobowitz
Merrill Davis
Meg Swertlow
Tess Barker
Erin Lampart
Adrienne Airhart
Mikey Scott
Ameen Belbahri
Josh Di Donato
Peter Pinchi
Gloria De Leon
Dante Rusciolelli
Seantos McDonald
Anthony Lopez
The Dan Cossette
Joe Starr
Clownvis
Erin Judge
Natasha Muse
Conrad Roth
Derrick Lemos
Cat Alvarado
Belinda Carroll
Jeff Zamaria
Lisa Best
Brady Echerer
Lee Hinton
Tobie Seth
Azealia Snail
Dan Collins
Erika Abdelatif
Matt Styner
Laurel Pear
Avery Moore
Danny Felts
Sky Grady
April Wolfe
Jay Wendell Walker
Mark Saltveit
Kevin Hyder
Jameson Gong
Christine Nichols
Charles Disney
Barry Neal
Jesse Alison
Bri Pruett
Sarah Dorfmann
Eric Yoder
Barbara Holliday
RuthAnne Haber
Kelly Chambers
Christie Nicholls Nittrouer

Jackie Kashian’s Dork Forest!

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I got you an episode of the legendary Dork Forest Podcast with Jackie Kashian, whom I inundate with Labyrinth trivia and try to help figure out the difference between David Bowie and Billy Idol. I love her, I love Labyrinth, and I love all of you. I name check Melissa Hansson and Jemiah Jefferson in this episode! Check it out: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dork-forest/id210939624?mt=2&i=1000402149479

Jackie and Laurie Rule!

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I am a huge fan of Jackie Kashian and Laurie Kilmartin and of their incredible insider/outsider comedy podcast. I am beyond tickled to be this week’s featured comic and demand to be referred to as “Jackie and Laurie Show Comic of the Week Virginia Jones” henceforth. Also, listen to their show! NOW!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-jackie-and-laurie-show/id1071731361?mt=2

My Funny Valentines

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The amazingly funny comic Lisa Best maintains a list of women comics on her website, as a counter to both the assertions that women aren’t funny or that there aren’t very many funny women. I am picking up her practice because I think it’s awesome. This is a list of women who I personally find to be hilarious.  It is ever growing and one day I will link all their websites.  Check any or all of them out.

LISA BEST

CAITLIN WEIERHAUSER

BONNIE MCFARLANE

APARNA NANCHERLA

JACKIE KASHIAN

MARIA BAMFORD

NATASHA LEGGERO

BRANDIE POSEY

PAIGE WELDON

AMY SCHUMER

KATHLEEN MADIGAN

RHEA BUTCHER

JANINE BRITO

PAULA POUNDSTONE

CAMERON ESPOSITO

KATE BERLANT

RYLEE NEWTON

BETH STELLING

RITA RUDNER

ELIZA SKINNER

LEAH KAYAJANIAN

ERIN FOLEY

MORGAN MURPHY

RACHEL FEINSTEIN

EMILY HELLER

REBECCA CORRY

LISA LAMPANELLI

MARINA FRANKLIN

WENDI STARLING

AMBER TOZER

KRISTEN SCHAAL

FORTUNE FEIMSTER

CHELSEA HANDLERAISHA TYLER

JANEANE GAROFOLO

ALI WONG

BRETT BUTLER

LAURIE KILMARTIN

JEN KIRKMAN

EMILY MAYA MILLS

KAREN KILGARIFF

SHARON HOUSTON

MONIKA SCOTT

LAURA KIGHTLINGER

MARGARET CHO

WANDA SYKES

WHOOPI GOLDBERG

MO WELCH

SARAH SILVERMAN

TIG NOTARO

TAMMY PESCATELLI

KIRA SOLTANOVICH

DEBRA DIGIOVANNI

CAITLIN GILL

CANDY LAWRENCE

BARBARA HOLM

SUSANNA LEE

STACEY HALLAL

DANIELLE PEREZ

MADISON SHEPARD

LAURA HOUSE

ANDY ERIKSON

DANA EAGLE

ADRIENNE AIRHART

ERIN LAMPART

AMY MILLER

JOANN SCHINDERLE

SAM JAY

AMBER PRESTON

MICHELLE BILOON

EMMA WILLMAN

OLIVIA HAIDAR

MAGGIE MAYE

IRENE TU

MARLENA RODRIGUEZ

MEGAN KOESTER

KYLE MIZONO

SUSAN JONES

KLEE WIGGINS

DINA NINA MARTINEZ

ALLISON MICK

KATE WILLETT

CANDICE THOMPSON

SARA SCHAEFER

CHRISTINA WALKINSHAW

CLAIRE BROSSEAU

VALERIE TOSI

MARCELLA ARGUELLO

LEAH DUBIE

CAT RHINEHART

MARIA SHEHATA

KRISTEN STUDARD

JENNY ZIGRINO

JULIA PRESCOTT

LYDIA POPOVICH

BARBARA GRAY

ERIN LENNOX

LIZZY COOPERMAN

HEATHER TURMAN

CALISE HAWKINS

PHOEBE ROBINSON

LAURA CRAWFORD

LIZZY PILCHER

KAT YEARY

JESSICA MICHELLE SINGLETON

DANIELLE RADFORD

HEATHER THOMSON

EVER MAINARD

ALISON STEVENSON

ANNA SEREGINA

TESS BARKER

NAOMI EKPERIGIN

KELLY ANNEKEN

SAMANTHA GILWEIT

KATHLEEN MCGEE

NATASHA MUSE

How Mormonism Made Me Atheist:

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The Former Latter Day Saint with Virginia Jones

THE FORMER LATTER DAY SAINT WITH VIRGINIA JONES: CHOOSE YOUR OWN RELIGION

THE FORMER LATTER DAY SAINT WITH VIRGINIA JONES

POSTED ON July 02 2017

Virginia Jones chooses her own religion! Virginia is a comedian from Portland, OR who came to talk about growing up Mormon. She lays out some of the weirder parts of Mormon theology, what South Park and Book of Mormon got right and wrong, and we also talk about comedy and relationships. Check out Virginia’s album “Gothic American Live!” on iTunes and follow her on Twitter @badiniadones and Instagram @badinia!

 

The Former Latter Day Saint with Virginia Jones

From Love.Tv: The Unicorn Charmer

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Hi, my name is Virginia Jones and I’m a comedian and writer. I made a girlfriend six years ago who was beautiful and smart and kind and fun to be with, and at one point she told me she was a still a virgin in her late 20s, and I was pretty surprised. In the years since we met, she has transitioned into non-virginity, and she agreed to sit down and talk with me about it. Historically, virginity has been so important in religion, in vampire lore, and in marriage, but now it doesn’t seem as significant, and I wondered what her thoughts were on the topic. In this interview, I’m calling myself by my initials, VJ, and I’m calling her Unicorn Charmer, because in Medieval times it was said that a unicorn would only lay his head in a virgin’s lap.

 

VJ: At what age did you lose your virginity?
UC: I was 30. When did you lose yours?
VJ: I was 15, which at the time I felt was ancient and now I am totally grossed out by. When I see 15 year olds, I think, well, these are children.
UC: Oh myyyy.
VJ: How many partners have you had since then?
UC: I’ve had five sex partners — spread out over the past five years. Two long-term boyfriends, three shorter term. You?
VJ: Some multiple of that. Have you ever had a one night stand?
UC: I tried to have one in Europe with a sexy European man, but he kept in touch and it became an affair that kept going for a while — so I still haven’t successfully had one. I guess I maybe had one with someone I had been in love with forever — but that feels more like a continuation of our friendship. Once I had sex for the first time, he was someone I wanted to circle back and have sex with.
VJ: What was the original motivation for keeping your virginity, and did that change?
UC: I was raised in a very conservative Baptist household and was definitely taught that sex was for married people, and lots of scary stuff about STDs. When a boy first kissed me, I was quite sure I had AIDS. I was engaged for three years starting at 19, and when that engagement ended, I decided, well, I don’t have to be married, but I’d like to have sex with someone who loves me and who I love back. So, that only took… another seven years.
VJ: That’s a minute.
UC: It was. It wasn’t all the guys’ fault. I’m sometimes… fickle.
VJ: Have you ever lost partners or relationships because you didn’t want to have coitus?
UC: None of them ever admitted it, but looking back, I think, yeah. I think it’s not something you want to say is the reason.
VJ: It’s not a good look. Do you regret anything about waiting?
UC: I don’t regret my age or the timing when I lost my virginity — but I would have liked my first to be a different person?
VJ: Why is that?
UC: I thought he loved me and that he was the right partner, but it turned out that he wasn’t faithful and didn’t care for me the way I thought he did. Later, I felt like I was a conquest. It seemed like the right person at the time, but looking back, could have been better
VJ: I think most of us feel that way.
UC: Ha! But I don’t regret waiting, either. All I missed over the years was sex with people who weren’t in love with me, which I feel is missable.
VJ: What are some positive responses people have had to your sex history? UC: Women have been 100 percent positive, girlfriends all think it’s great. Lots of men, friends and ex-boyfriends have been respectful of my decision. One man I did sleep with said it made him feel extra special. Which he is! “I had built a lot of my self-image on being a virgin, on being that girl”
VJ: What is something that you changed your mind about after having sex?
UC: Strangely, I have changed my feelings about oral sex, which for years was my main sexual activity — now it seems VERY intimate and kind of more precious than sex — like, I can have intercourse with someone way before oral sex. I have to trust them more.
VJ: I’ve heard that’s the feeling a lot of millennials have, that sex with a condom you can have with anyone, but oral sex is more intimate. It’s the opposite of when I was growing up. What were you surprised about after the first time you had sex?
UC: I thought it would be really bloody and painful, and it wasn’t. I was surprised that it wasn’t actually that big a deal — I wasn’t a different person, I wasn’t transformed in one way or another — it was strange, I had built a lot of my self-image on being a virgin, on being that girl, and I had to figure out who I was again!
VJ: Ha! Right, part of our worth as a woman is your sexual purity — It gives you the idea that you will be a different person once you have sex, but you’re not. Like a button is pressed and POOF you are a different being.
UC: I guess so! But I just had to train myself out of thinking of myself in relation to what I hadn’t done, and think about myself in the context of what I have.
VJ: Have you had any negative feedback on staying a virgin for longer?
UC: Unfortunately, yeah- it usually gets thrown in my face by partners or men when they’re angry with me or want to hurt me? Stuff about I’m frigid or not normal or can’t come during sex, which I can — Lots of men want to tell me that because I waited, I’m gonna have hang-ups or other issues, that I’ll never be normal in bed.
VJ: That’s cruddy.
UC: It is. One guy in particular has hit that one same note over and over, that I’m not normal, normal people just hook up a lot and don’t put a lot of importance on sex, but you know, I know those people, and they don’t seem that happy to me.
VJ: Maybe not.
UC: And I know that I’m worth more than that.
VJ: Well, I think everyone is worth more, both women and men. But we believe what people tell us, which is that the only thing available to us is hookup sex, so we’d better take it, or get nothing. (laughs)
UC: Ha! Right. “I was relieved that a penis didn’t feel like a giant finger inside me.”
VJ: What were you relieved about when you lost your virginity?
UC: I was honestly glad not to worry about it anymore. Also…Oh, god…
VJ: What?
UC: I was relieved that a penis didn’t feel like a giant finger inside me.
VJ: Haaaaa!
UC: Well, I wasn’t sure.
VJ: Well, how could you be? Thank you for sharing your sex history with me, babe. The Unicorn Charmer has just ended a serious relationship and is currently out meeting new dates and potential partners in her new city, and is having fun, mostly!