Bulldog Patriotism

We were given a year pass to the Oregon Zoo recently, so that polar bear is gonna learn my f*cking name. We went to the counter to fill in the paperwork and the woman in the office said, "And do you have any children?" and I said "Why no, we're wasting our lives..."

I saw this little guy "otter-fellating" in front of a bunch of schoolkids yesterday, so, really, thank God we were at the zoo. I am not sure I could handle that kind of action in my neighborhood. A minute before this photo was taken, he was adorably playing with a purple plastic ball, and then he realized- what do I need this thing for, I can mouth my own junk!

I had a good five minutes at the Boiler Room on Monday, partly because I brought a tableful of supporters. I think that may be "key". An MP3 of questionable quality is available for download on the list at right. If you listen hard, you may be able to hear the booming bass laughter of my friend Ken Fu.


The 4th of July is a day of celebration of the country that invented Silly Putty, the Hulk, the swivel chair and the microwave oven, but it's also the 5th birthday of my little girl Frenchie, Hazel Samedi. She was given a hamburger patty of her very own, which she enjoyed, and she was made to dress as a ballerina, which she did not like as much.